Sunday, February 29
Tuesday, February 17
Things are not always as they seem...cliche'. But it's true. Tonight I have been informed of facts I did not know. I saw this world I've been living in from a different perspective. Have a I been a victim of ignorance? Have I been an aid to the institutions that are bringing me detriment? These are both large, general questions that I am not ready to answer. Lord, bring the truth to light and lead me in Your way.
Monday, February 16
Usually around Valentine's Day I find myself wishing for someone special to spend it with. This year, not so. Why? Well, partially I think because I was getting attention I did not ask for. I received two bouquets of roses and sentiments from guys I am not particularly interested in. Although I was flattered, at the same time, I felt a lot more obligation to be more appreciative than I actually was. One of the guys spoils me unconditionally, knowing that we are only friends. The other lives in a fantasy world, with me starring as his future wife (no kidding, apparently God really shared this information with him). Yuck. And although the first is totally genuine, I just cannot return the same feelings. Anyways, it could just be that I am finally content with this season of my life. It really is nice to settle in, to enjoy each day, to know that I don't have to be "with someone" to be happy. I like spending random quality time with friends, I like being dedicated to my job, I like taking naps when I get home. I like that I don't have to worry about anyone right now, unless I choose to. Of course, the dream is there. The dream of falling in love and having a best friend for life. I look forward to that. But I don't depend on it anymore. I'm tired of putting my hope in relationships that were never meant to be. I'm tired of wrong expectations and wrong motives. I want to live with a pure heart, open and honest with the people God has placed in my life. And one day, I am sure that there will be someone who exceeds every expectation, every hope, every dream. I look forward to him, to that season.