Sunday, February 29

With all my heart I want to believe that God is good. With my mouth I confess it daily. Then where is the hope that breathes life into this waiting period of my life? What does hope look like?

Tuesday, February 17

Things are not always as they seem...cliche'. But it's true. Tonight I have been informed of facts I did not know. I saw this world I've been living in from a different perspective. Have a I been a victim of ignorance? Have I been an aid to the institutions that are bringing me detriment? These are both large, general questions that I am not ready to answer. Lord, bring the truth to light and lead me in Your way.

Monday, February 16

Usually around Valentine's Day I find myself wishing for someone special to spend it with. This year, not so. Why? Well, partially I think because I was getting attention I did not ask for. I received two bouquets of roses and sentiments from guys I am not particularly interested in. Although I was flattered, at the same time, I felt a lot more obligation to be more appreciative than I actually was. One of the guys spoils me unconditionally, knowing that we are only friends. The other lives in a fantasy world, with me starring as his future wife (no kidding, apparently God really shared this information with him). Yuck. And although the first is totally genuine, I just cannot return the same feelings. Anyways, it could just be that I am finally content with this season of my life. It really is nice to settle in, to enjoy each day, to know that I don't have to be "with someone" to be happy. I like spending random quality time with friends, I like being dedicated to my job, I like taking naps when I get home. I like that I don't have to worry about anyone right now, unless I choose to. Of course, the dream is there. The dream of falling in love and having a best friend for life. I look forward to that. But I don't depend on it anymore. I'm tired of putting my hope in relationships that were never meant to be. I'm tired of wrong expectations and wrong motives. I want to live with a pure heart, open and honest with the people God has placed in my life. And one day, I am sure that there will be someone who exceeds every expectation, every hope, every dream. I look forward to him, to that season.

Thursday, February 5