Graduation weekend is upon us....that means one roomate down, two more to go. :( And this is only one small corner of our apartment!

I took these a couple days ago right before a thunderstorm. 

Okay, cloud pictures may be a bit boring, but when I really figure out this camera, I might be able to better capture how beautiful these storm clouds are. I mean they are incredible this time of year! These are not tornado clouds...I asked just to make sure...as I always do when a storm is brewing. If I do happen upon scary tornado clouds in rotation(but let's hope that I don't) I'll pass the proof along to those of you who do not live in these parts. :)

"if I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world" since "creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists"

C.S. Lewis ~ Mere Christianity

My heart is overwhelmed with desire. A desire to be home. A desire to truly love and to be loved. A desire to walk in peace and to know that my life serves a purpose. And it must be true that such things exist. God help me to see your goodness and to wait for You. Help me to walk away from those things that only speak but never fulfill.

I need a hug....

a great big, reasurring, I really mean it, all is well type of hug.

Embarassing moment of the day: "So this teacher walked into a bar"....a monkey bar that is. I walked right into the monkey bars this afternoon...full force and hard enough to knock me to the ground. :P And since teachers don't usually cry on the playground, I held my own. But now I have this incredibly large bump on my forehead, and I kind of wish I could use it as an excuse for an extra day off. Surprisingly, none of my kids saw and neither did any other teachers. The moment was all my own. Kind of hard to miss a teacher with two foreheads though.... :(

Mom sent me a fork in the mail. Here's the story behind this random incident...

Keep Your Fork

I love these good old fashioned reminders. :)

Quotes of the day

"Miss T., does this guy have his license? I keep bumping my head!"

~K.C. (riding in the front seat of the bus enroute to our field trip destination)

"Let's keep moving. We're on a tight schedule."

~K.W. (line leader of the day)

"Miss T., I love you!"

~K.C. (randomly throughout our field trip today...this kid sure knows how to make a teacher smile)

Maybe you had to be there, but I think I have the cutest kids when it comes to one liners. I wish I could remember everything these kindergarteners say. :)

Erin, Jilli, and me playing with my new camera. :) Soon, we will all be living in different states.

Yesterday, I was reminded of the fact that God sees our hearts and knows even our unspoken requests. I randomly ended up at Starbucks last night with my roomate before she went to her class. As I was sitting and looking out the window I realized that my friend A., who I have not seen in a year, was walking in the door. She was another friend who had attended the church that I left last summer. We had both lost touch and I truly thought I would never see her again. A. is never on this side of town and had stopped in to see a friend on his shift. After my roomate left, we ended up spending the rest of the evening catching up with each other. It was as if no time had passed at all. She too is moving on with her life...in two short weeks she will moving out of state. It was comforting to hear of her new opportunities and to help her pack up a bit. It was like God knew just how much I longed to see her, and he made sure it happened even without our planning it. What a set up. :)

Speaking of friends, I had an incredible time this past Saturday catching up with some old friends from the Cracker Barrel days. J. just returned from Iraq and invited me out for a BBQ. I was a little leary of any drama that might take place between a few of us and almost didn't go. But instead of drama the peace of God was evident. This post could be an add-on to the bonfire post a couple of weeks ago...same kind of thing. Relationships are precious, a necessity for sharing the love of Christ with those around us. I caught up with C. who is about to head back to the west coast. I played my guitar with J.'s roomie. I hugged and chatted with P.'s new girlfriend...lol...much better than I had hoped for. :) All night long, I kept thinking...heaven must be a bit like this. There was a peace that pervaded us that night. My heart just loved the people around me as we shared about our lives and ate steak off the grill. I didn't want the evening to end.

Although my last post spoke of disappointment I have to admit that truly God has blessed my relationships. I look forward to the future as this season ends and a new one begins. There is a newfound freedom in my life. I can live freely before God and still love people where they are. At the same time, I can love people where they are and still live freely before God.

"How many an artist has been crushed in a family that prefers a 'rational' approach to life? How many an engineer dismissed by a family of musicians? How many of us are lost in life simply because no one in our early world saw our glory and affirmed it?...These blows aren't random or incidental. They strike directly at some part of the heart, turn the very thing God created to be a source of celebration into a source of shame. And so you can at least begin to discover your glory by looking more closely at what you were shamed for. Look at what's been assaulted, used, abused.

As Bernard of Clairvaux declared, 'Throught the heart's wound, I see its secret.'"

~John Eldredge - Waking The Dead~

Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalms 34:5

Well, they made it. After three days of traveling Mom, Dad, and all the animals have come to their destination. I felt such a peace when they called tonight. They are where they should be.

And me? :) Well, let's just say that I am beginning to listen more and plan less....if that makes any sense at all. My own plans are beginning to rearrange and the possibilities are way more exciting. More to come...

This Jars of Clay song has been stuck in my head all weekend! Have a listen, the whole album plays through on the website. God Will Lift Up Your Head

In other news, I attended a bonfire last night and found myself right smack in the middle of a redneck country music video...complete with a four-wheeler, a go-cart, a karaoke machine on the back of a minivan attached to oversized speakers set out on the grass, coolers full of beer, a wet bar on the back of a truck bed, and girls and guys sportin' their straw hats. And although I know I don't necessarily fit in with that crowd of folks (I mean for real...I was holding a can of Coke), I loved being there. I love how real and raw people can be. It really got me to thinking about Jesus and how He lived His life among the people. He stood out too, but He found a way to connect. He was all about relationship. And He walked in such a way that He gained trust and was able to bring life to the people around Him.

With this fresh awareness, I agreed to make a Smore's run to Wal-Mart with A. Our conversation opened right up like it had been planned before we even got there. Working his way out of the Mormon church, A. is now experiencing life without rules and walls to keep him guarded. We talked about searching for God and about having faith without the religion. And for the first time ever, when asked about my own life, I was able to share without stumbling over Christian vocabulary. Our conversation was real and to the point and I could tell that it made a difference.

I hate what I have done in the past and the times that I have not truly sought after God. But last night, it was those times that brought a connection with A. Because he is at that point now. And I was able to tell him that even in the midst of our worst mistakes and wanderings, God is faithful. That truly God is bigger than our questions and every rule of religion that is created to make us conform. I was able to tell him that after he experiences everything he thinks he has missed, emptiness and a need for something greater will find its way to the surface of his heart. And that is truly what I believe. That is the way I came to God...not because someone told me that I needed Him, but because my heart cried out and He was the one who answered.

I knew that I could not change him. I knew that I could not make his heart long for God. I knew that all I could do was plant seeds on the fertile ground that had presented itself. Someday, when A. is ready, his heart will be drawn by the voice of the Holy Spirit and those seeds will break out of their shells and take root. And with time those seedlings will grow strong and tall and A. will be a well-watered tree in the Kingdom of God.

"Aaaaaahhh Tulsa is not that bad, really, is it? OK, maybe it is. But we need you and and your strong faith to make our lil' town a better place, which no doubt it already is because of you!"

I found out today that my blog is featured on TheTulsan! Wow, I am flattered. And to set the record straight, I do like Tulsa. It's just the letting go of NY part that makes me sad.

Thanks, Tim! :)

Lys

This is my sister. Hopefully she does not mind such a large portrait of herself on my blog, but I had to talk about her tonight.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with Lys and mentioned my sadness about leaving our piano behind in Rochester. I kind of joked around and asked her to make sure and play it a little bit since I could not come home and do so.

Today was moving day for the family. At the end of my school day here in Tulsa I checked my voicemail and was surprised to find a message from Lys. "Hi, April, the house is empty and I'm the last one here. I promised to play the piano for you one more time before we left, so here goes...." And though she has never been one to sit at the piano, she sat down today just for me. She played Happy Birthday and Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee and in between she made sure that every key and every note was played over the phone line. I never expected her to remember my request or to even think about calling and playing over the phone. Of course, the tears came as I listened and realized that someone actually understood how it felt to miss home and how important it was to acknowledge such feelings.

Thank you, Lys. :) It meant so much that you would remember a seemingly small, but rather important piece of my heart. You are the best sister in the whole wide world. :)