Heart of the Matter

So I went to the doctor today to find the results of my tests. My heart is fine, just has a few extra beats every once in awhile. I laughed and told him I felt as if I had made up the whole episode. It's funny because I was actually a little worried when all of the weird symptoms were happening. It was stress I think, even though they happened during summer vacation while I was traveling.

There was something about being in Scotland that made me forget what was going on. On the day I returned home I realized that for 10 days there had been no episodes whatsoever and there hasn't been one since.

I sat in Glasgow Cathedral's cemetary for quite awhile one overcast day, next to a stone that spoke of the joy of meeting again in heaven one day. As I sat there, the feelings of brokeness and sadness over lost love and altered trust seemed to wash over me. The words on the stone reminded me of the hope that Christ was in the midst of the situation, that He would work to bring both of us where we needed to be. And then a song rose up in me that I had never heard before and I began to sing. Looking back, I do believe a transfer occurred. I left my brokeness in the cemetary. I left my sadness and burden behind.

God so ordained that trip for me. I've had such an energy to keep going since I've returned. The stress and burden I felt about school and work and all of those things has disappeared. The sadness is gone. I have started writing music again. I'm playing almost every day and almost every time I have started writing a new song. I've come home with my burdens lifted and such a sense of urgency to carry on.

God heals our hearts by surprise and in His own way I think. I had no idea He would send me to Scotland. I had no idea that He would expand my borders in songwriting, though I have longed for Him to do so. And I still have no idea what the rest of the story is, who I will meet, where I will go, what ministry I will fulfill. But my heart is better, at peace. I am enjoying getting to know Him, getting to trust Him, and walking by faith in a greater way.

God give me grace to continue to walk in your peace and in your path for my life.