Saturday, April 28

Seeing it Through

Again, tonight it happened...like so many moments before..the label. The one that puts me in the quiet box. I hate it. I have hated that label since I can remember. Of course, it could be the fact that many times I find myself the listener, the observer. It could be the fact that I am usually the newer one to the group. I have plenty of friends or family who know the difference...but they have known me for a lot longer. They know that there is a bundle of energy just waiting to happen.

No one has probably ever meant any harm with their statements, "Oh, you're always so quiet..so calm." I know what they mean. I'm not loud and in your face. I'm not the one who fights to take the spotlight. But that's not what I hear. What I hear is that I am not noticeable. What I hear is that I am easily overlooked, not as fun...and therefore, not as important.

And so there it is. Carrie and I talked about the lies we believe about ourselves the other night. And this is one of them. I believe that I am easily overlooked, not as important, not as beautiful or as noticeable as the rest. And whenever the "quiet" statement or something like it comes up...as much as I hate it and want to rage against the label...I am stuck...because if others are seeing it, it must be true right?

At the core of who we are...we want to be known. And in the midst of being known, we want to be accepted. It's no wonder we are hooked on Hollywood and reality television shows and internet dating sites. It's no wonder we are so concerned about our reputations, our fashion statements, our resumes and our success stories.
It's no wonder that I am so disappointed when I have been misunderstood or misinterpreted. It's no wonder I have felt entirely inadequate when comparing myself to those around me. My perspective has been all wrong.

The Bible states that we did not choose God, but that He chose us...this verse is full of acceptance. Scriptures also go on to say that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Which tells me that He knew who we were...He knew our darkness, our pain, our grief, our hopes and dreams. He knew it all and yet still wanted to be with us, still wanted to lay His life down for us.

So the truth is, I am accepted and loved and important. Now if only it would get through to my heart. Then I would know better when given a label...I would know that the label doesn't matter. I would remember that to know others and to be known by them takes patience and unconditional love.

We have to look beyond the surface. We have to see to the heart of people. We have to ask God for His eyes. Because Jesus never labeled anyone by their behavior. He saw their heart and He drew the real, authentic person out. I want to be that type of person. I want to be surrounded by people who strive to do the same. And more than anything in the world, I want to be that confident, fully alive person...the one who never gives a second thought to what others may or may not be seeing...the one who cares only about the thoughts of an unconditionally loving and merciful God.

No comments: