Well, it is a new year....which calls for a new post. :)
Tonight, I am getting ready to go back to work....getting ready as in setting the alarm clock, thinking about welcoming my kids back to school, nothing too extensive.
I am still working in the studio. It's been quite a process this time. I am learning about waiting and working hard. I am learning what's really in my heart about all of this. It's good.
I was praying in my car on the way home tonight...telling God what was on my heart. I was thinking about Christmas this year...and how grown up Christmases without kids don't seem to be quite as exciting. I wanted it to be exciting...but somehow the season rushed on and I couldn't quite get ahold of it all. What stuck out to me most was the fact that although I was blessed with thoughtful gifts from my family and friends...it wasn't anything that would have been on my list. But when I thought about it...I hadn't made a list. Which led me to a very important discovery.
I just expect people to know me. I expect them to know what is in my heart and then act towards me in that manner. But have I given them the chance to know me? Have I given them a true picture of who I really am or what is really important to me?
There is a verse in the Bible that says we have not because we ask not. I wonder how many times we go without simply because we have not asked.
In light of all this, I plan on asking a lot more. I just keep hearing God saying..."What is it you really want? What is truly in your heart?" And I think that finally I am about done with saying..."Oh, I don't really need anything. Oh, it's ok, I can do without. or It's not that important....etc, etc."
We come up with so many excuses of why our own hearts are not important enough. There will always be someone who will be in a worse situation. There will always be a compromise or stand in for what we really and truly wished for.
But what if we truly believed that God had a best for us...had someone or something better in mind than we ever imagined? What if we had the courage to ask and then believe that He would really answer?
Someone recently reminded me that God is a good father. A good father would never give a child a stone when they were asking for a good meal. A good father longs to give good gifts to his children. He would want to know what is important to his children...want to fill their children's requests with the very best he could give.
So, this year, my heart is about to open up. I plan on telling God what I really want...what is really important to me. And I plan on trusting Him to answer. I also plan on loving my family and friends the same way. I plan on telling them what is important to me...what I really and truly desire. It will take faith and trust but I am pretty sure it will bring more peace and provision in the coming seasons. I am pretty sure it is what God has wanted all along...honesty and complete trust.