Sunday, August 24

With Each New Day

I drive through the city every morning as the sun rises...and lately back through as the sun is setting.  And I am amazed that I am even here.  I'm in Nashville....I'm in Nashville!  I break out laughing or crying and telling the Lord how thankful I am.

I have spent long hours getting my classroom ready.  I arrive around 6:45am ish and leave again around 8pm at night.  Yes, that is way too late....but there is so much to think many things to organize.  I know I'll get the hang of it soon.  I don't feel a weight about it.  I really don't feel that stressed.  It's actually a joy to make this classroom come together....

I have only played out once so far.  The teaching is taking precedence at the moment.  But I have been able to see quite a few shows.  I could see one every night if I wanted to.  And the more shows I see, the more artists I meet...I am convinced that there is something greater to be discovered in my heart concerning this.  I mean, I absolutely love kids.  But more than that...I love the Lord...and I love telling Him and others this very thing through song.

But there is a work going on in my heart.  I have been afraid to be absolutely real....afraid of being vulnerable.  You probably wouldn't notice it if you met me on the street.  It comes in tiny little moments...when I least want it to come, deep down on the inside.  But there it is whispering thoughts of not being good enough, of not having enough, of not deserving the goodness of God.  I suppose that when I give into this lack of confidence it could also be considered pride.  And so I am trusting Him to break me out of this, as He reveals reasons why He alone is enough...His opinion is enough...His provision is enough.  And I think it is good to take this one day at a time...

It's not really about the songs.  It is about Him.  It's not about what I can get's about what He will do...what He has already done.  I am so thankful...

Anything good from Him.  Anything good that will come will be from Him.  I am convinced of His presence in my life....of His joy in this new season.  And with each new day, I am learning to trust in this joy.


hope and faith said...

I'm glad you found your way back to the classroom. All those kiddos need you!

Isn't it amazing how God numbers our steps and gives each one precedence?

There's a song in my heart. They sang it at church tonite..."I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead, the past is over, in You all things are new..."

Welcome to the new thing!

April said...

Thank you, Nate. You are right, all things ARE made new in Him. I am realizing the power in this verse more and more every day.