He sat at my reading table, head in his hands. We were finished with the lesson, all the other kids had gone on to their next activity. I began to ask him questions. He just shook his head after each one. This kid was probably one of the toughest in the class; I usually saw him smiling and joking around about something. I had never known him to sit so still and not say a word. He began to cry and then the crying turned to sobbing. I grabbed some tissues and sat with him...listening only to his tears. My next reading group would have to wait.
After several minutes he managed to tell me that he missed his dad...who had left to live in Arizona. I wanted to cry with him. I knew exactly how he felt. He had no control over his circumstances. He couldn't change anyone's mind. He just loved his dad and he wanted to be with him. After he had quieted we talked about the fact that his dad probably missed him that much too. We talked about how God can help us when we're sad. And that was it. He got up, and by the time he left the classroom that day, he was smiling again.
I'll never forget that moment. It happened in the midst of my own pain that day when I thought I wouldn't be able to make it through.
We have been given so much. Homes, food, clothes, transportation, families and friends, the power and luxury of technology, the ability to work, the ability to enjoy life. The list goes on. And most importantly, for a lot of people who read this blog, we have been given peace with Jesus. And if we have been given so much, so many resources, and the very essence of life, I would have to say that much would be expected of us in return.
Hopefully, as we grow into adults, our quest does not turn in search for more happiness for ourselves; hopefully, at some point in our lives, our quest will turn in search of how we can tend to our resources well, cause them to grow, and then to use those resources to help those in need.
Resources are a gift from God, we should neither despise or reject them. Who knows what good can come from placing resources in the right hands? Who knows how they could be used to show God's love and provision to a world in desperate need of even the most basic of needs...like clean water? As followers of Christ, there is no room for selfishness, and considerably less room for false humility. We must learn how to take care of what we ourselves have been given, to give without a second thought to our own vitality when a need arises, and then how to receive again when the opportunity arises for God to give us what is in His heart for us to have. Whether it is something tangible like money...or whether it is forgiveness and the ability to mend what has been broken.
I woke up this morning. And those words began to run through my head again...the ones about how I wasn't good enough, how I hadn't done enough, how I had been misunderstood, how I longed for everything to be made right. And then I heard this song by Thad Cockrell and I was reminded...that even if I couldn't change my own circumstances...I could reach out to others in the midst of theirs. I may not have what I want right now, but I have everything I need in Jesus. I live a blessed life...a full life. There are so many right now, at this moment, who don't have any kind of hope. One day, everything will be made right. And even if I don't see it with my eyes right now...I'll keep spreading that message...with my Love.
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