Sunday, October 23

Prelude to a post

I built another temple to a stranger
I gave away my heart to the rushing wind
I set my course to run right into danger
Sought the company of fools instead of friends

You know I've been unfaithful
Lovers in line
While you're turning over tables
With the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind
Love of a jealous kind

Tryin' to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
For solace in the shift of the sinking sand
I'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
Then be broken by a lover I don't understand
'Cause I don't understand

One hundred other lovers, more, one hunderd other altars
If I should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
And love that shames the wise, betrays the heart's deceit and lies
And breaks the back of foolish pride

Jars Of Clay - Jealous Kind

I watched as a young girl of no more than 21 sold herself to a crowd for 100 dollars. And as she danced, I saw her crying out for more. She had traded attention for love, and a smile for security and trust. She had entered the contest at the approval of "friends" and after hearing the conditions she had stayed to prove that beauty belonged to her. Her sad and lifeless eyes broke my heart.

I overheard a husband speak to a stranger about his wife. Instead of dancing with her, he asked the stranger to teach her the steps. After all, he was with his friends too, having a good time, why should he cling to his wife, when someone else could fill her need?

Three recent marriage breakups. Two close friends and an acquaintance. I am hearing the perspectives of two wives and one son. What happens when commitment is no longer commitment? Was it ever based on sacrifice? Was it ever a love beyond circumstances? Why does it seem that life is crowding out the very substinance of our lives?

This song sang the very words that hung over my heart tonight. How many loves have come in the way of my love for God? How many loves have turned me in a different direction? Will I ever come to a place of loving Him and receiving a love that comes through Him? How many people have I allowed to take the place of a void only He can fill? How long has He called for me and I have not answered? How do I respond now that I know?

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