Friday, April 4

Day 4 - What to Do With Freedom

We stood on Trevecca's campus looking at the lighted skyline of the city. "Am I allowed to say that I have come here to be a songwriter?", I asked Kim. Every time she had been asked about her reasons for being here, her response has been that she is following her dreams. But I have been afraid of sounding starry eyed. I have been afraid of sounding presumptious. I have been afraid that someone would look at me as if I didn't have a right to enter this music city.

Can I really come here to be a songwriter? Can I really come here and take the time to develop the art that continues to grow inside of my heart? Can I afford to leave practicality for awhile? Can I afford to let go of the my identity as a teacher? Can I really step out of the boat and pursue something outside of my box? I have longed for a day when I would have the choice to do anything, be anything, pursue anything. And now the day is here, and I don't know what to do with freedom.

"Kim," I said, "we are free." And we are...we don't have time limits or dependents. We have dreams and talents, and just enough faith and curiosity to see where these things will take us. I have had just enough life experience to not be afraid of maps and new places, unknown circumstances and unmet needs. But not enough I suppose to really know how to live when presented with the gift of a fresh new start. So my prayer now is, God show me what to do at the beginning, show me what you have put in my heart to do, give me the faith to pursue what I have not known how to pursue before, and stay close to me, provide for me, keep me from holding on to anything less than freedom.

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