Friday, April 4

Day 5 - Going To Stay

If you're reading this mom, please know that I'd like to be sitting with you and dad tonight eating scrambled eggs and grits. It sounds very comforting. If you're anyone else reading this, please know that I'd also like to be putting together new furniture and painting walls and just hanging out for no reason at all. I'm looking forward to hugging my kids on Monday. I can't wait to get back into the quiet little studio on Edgewood. I want to finish what I started there.

We drove all over Nashville today looking for a new place to live. I love going inside new homes and looking at floorplans and interior designs. The three of us made a good team, picking up where each left off. I know we'll make it here together when the time comes. At the end of the day, we still don't have a place yet, but I'm not too worried.

I feel like I'm in a whole new world. The people are different, the atmosphere is different...I am different. I didn't realize that middle Tennessee would be a culture shock...and it probably wouldn't seem so much if I was just a tourist coming through. It's just the knowing that I'll be here in 8 weeks and this will be home feeling that keeps me from running through the streets as if they'll never see me again.

I think I'd like to buy a good camera when I get here. I want to start taking pictures. I'd also like to start taking more walks, there's a lot to see. I'd like to buy a new hat or two. I don't know if I want to teach. I want to see what happens if I do something different. I want to write more. Maybe I'll start my book soon. I am realizing that even though I have been blessed with many relationships and friends, there's a difference between the ones who stay and the ones who go. For this reason, I wish I could stay. But I know I can't...because if I did, I wouldn't be the same girl...I have no choice but to choose what God has put in my heart to do.

And that's what all of this boils down to. I have to step out of the boat now. I have to walk towards the voice that speaks to the depths of my heart. I have to trust that this voice will lead me to my heart's desire. I am going, to stay on the path that has been set before me.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Wow, I admire your courage to adapt to change...even the idea of change scares me. Good for you for setting out on a journey that you know in your heart is the right one for you. I pray this transition will be an easy one for you.