Goodbye Swish

I came home to find my fish tank covered with a towel and the filter unplugged. I knew right away that my dear little goldfish had passed on. I stood staring at her for quite awhile...hoping to see her big black eyes dart back and forth, hoping to see her gills opening for air. And truthfully, I wanted to see her breathe so much that I thought I did actually see it happen once or twice. Tapping on the glass did not help. So I turned the kitchen light off and headed for bed.

I've known for a couple of days that this was coming. She's been struggling to swim, laying at the bottom, hardly able to eat. I've been praying for her, singing to her (she loves singing), telling her how much I love her. She has had some health issues in the past, and usually when I pray she gets better. Her spots disappear, her energy increases. But this time was different. She was just about to turn 5 years old.

Her original name was Destiny, but I called her Swish for most of her life...this came about from incessant fish babble when looking at her bowl and talking to her...c'mon I know I'm not the only one who talks to their pet fish! Our meeting happened at a college picnic in the hot August weather of Tulsa, OK. An entire kiddie pool was filled with goldfish from Wal-Mart and my friend and I were put in charge of helping students fish for their own little pet. By the end of the day there were still at least 100 fish left over. We were going to have to dump them in the pond where the turtles and ducks also lived. Feeling much compassion and the need for something to take care of I began to pick out fish for myself. There was one that I particulary had my eye on, and trying as hard as I could I never could catch that one in the net. But then there was another fish...the one I didn't really want...the one that got caugh in my net every single time I went for the other. She (Destiny) ended up being one of the five I took home.

I put the five refugees in a small fish bowl and they all sucked air from the surface the entire night. The next day I learned that only one fish could and should be expected to fit in the bowl I had purchased. I had to find them new homes and I did...except for two...Faith and Destiny. Within about a week I came into my dorm room to find that Faith had died by swallowing a rock that was much to big for her...at least I think that had been the problem. That left Destiny.

And true to her namesake she stayed with me...back and forth, in the backseat of my car, from OK to NY at least two or three times during college breaks, through a long summer night in the college dorm tornado shelter, moving off campus to an apartment, staying with friends (who had a track record for killing fish) when I had to leave town, when we moved to Florida almost two years ago now. Even mom and dad loved her and took care of her more than I did when I moved back home.

Swish was my companion, my little reminder that sometimes we are blessed with things we didn't think we wanted. I will miss her welcome every morning. I will miss her excitement to talk with anyone who came near to her little fish tank. I will miss knowing she is there.