Quietness and Trust

Isaiah 30:15 For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength.

Galatians 1:10 Now am I trying to win the favor of men, or of God? Do I seek to please men? If I were still seeking popularity with men, I should not be a bond servant of Christ (the Messiah).


I had a meeting with a parent this morning and a team of three other professionals concerning her son, my student. This particular student has been struggling the whole year...basically he is not capable of performing at grade level. But he is SUCH a hard worker, and so even tempered. He is probably one of the best students in my class. I don't feel like I've done a whole lot...the only thing I have done is encourage her awkward little boy everyday in my class. There are a few teachers who outright look down on him. I never have. I believe in that little guy. He tries so hard. He and his mom have been so discouraged that he could not have had the help he needed sooner. So we've been working on things, trying to get this guy back where he needs to be. This particular mother has been through so much...cancer treatment, not enough food or money to pay the bills...etc. She broke down crying today, in the middle of our meeting...looked straight at me and thanked me for all that I've done. Her words meant so much more than an administrative opinion on the management of my classroom. It told me that this year, I was in the right place at the right time.

I've been so worried about what people think of my teaching...so worried that it has affected my teaching. I've been so concerned with formalities that I have forgotten who I am working for. I'm working for God. He should be my focus....all else flows from that...as my roomate reminded me on the way to school this morning.

I realize that most of my problems lately have stemmed from this one issue. I am looking for the favor of people around me rather than trusting in the favor of God. I have been voicing my fears, my worries, my concerns to everyone around me....getting worked up and overly concerned. And the still, quiet voice inside of me says..."Is it really that big of a deal?" I want to fight for myself, I want to be treated with respect, I want to know that I belong somewhere, that I am making a difference....and because of these things, so much fear has been coming out of my mouth. Some kind of hardness...defensiveness has crept in. It's not me.

And so, realizing this, I haven't had a lot to write because really and truly I don't want to write about it anymore. Really and truly I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go through this, get through this. I want to finally be confident in God and His favor in my life...to walk in quietness and trust...instead of strife and constant rehashing of the same frustrations.