Your Plan

Thank you for listening. You have heard my outbursts, my rash words, my fear at its height. I know that you stayed even when I did not trust you. I know that you waited while I ran after the rations of my own understanding. My eyes have not stopped crying for days. And yet, you are patient with me. I see your smile. I see your knowing look; it cuts straight to the root of my heart's condition. The way you look at me, is exactly how I see my children when I have acted on their behalf and they do not yet realize the good they are being given. I have yet to understand your goodness, but in the midst of this struggle you let me start out new each day, as if the day before is gone and not held against me. Your promise still stands.

And I know that you are still waiting for me...waiting for me to walk forward instead of stand still; to let go of the fear that my past defines me, and to rest in knowing that You are the One who speaks of who I am...waiting for me to believe that you are who you say that you are...waiting for me to walk with you, truly walk with you, instead of trying to do it on my own.

I just want you to see that I'm trying, that my heart is in this. You have seen me already... hardened, broken. And you have mended the pieces that I never thought I would see again. I'm coming, Lord. I'm coming to meet up with you. You're right, it's time for something new. Let's walk arm in arm. Let's talk and laugh together again. Let's see what you have planned. I'm ready for your plan.