Choices

I went out last night. I wasn't planning on it, but at 8:30 after taking a nap and finding nothing on television I couldn't sit there any longer. Even still while getting ready, I wasn't sure if I would go or not. I knew a couple of girls who would already be there. They had called to see if I was coming. They're not close friends of mine, but I hated bailing on the evening. So, an hour later, I was ready and headed out the door.

I prayed again, this week a little more unsure of my desire to go out on the town again.

There's something I love about country music and being on a full dancefloor with everyone dancing in unison. There's something I love about being in a crowd of people who are out to enjoy a good time. I have been meeting people too. It's nice to have some social interaction besides school. I've had plenty of offers to dance. I've had plenty of nice conversations. I've laughed out loud with strangers and sang along with them to the music.

Yeah, it's fun. But there seems to be a catch for me. I've been talking to God about it today.

I'm afraid that all of this will get in the way of being close to God. I'm afraid that getting involved in the things of this world will cut me short of the true things that I desire. Love. Intimacy. Real relationships. Peace. Sure, these things come in bits and pieces anywhere you go...but are they true? are they pure? are they right? In all honesty, connections made on a night out do not always stay on the dancefloor.

But then again, I'm afraid of cutting myself off from people. What if my life becomes nothing more than work and sleep? What if that leaves me without someone to reach out to? What if I end up alone, when really I didn't need to be alone at all? What if God wanted me to minister to these people?

I wonder what Jesus would have done. He spent time with the people of His day...the people who were not considered church material. He loved them. I think about that a lot.