I seriously need to discipline myself in writing down kid quotes...they say some of the funniest things...and I think to myself, "it's so funny I'll remember it later." And, of course, by the time I get here...I can't remember it at all.
We were talking about the Asian culture in our small group the other day as we read a book about the Chinese New Year. My students are very interested in maps and places. As I was telling them that I knew someone in college from the country of Singapore one of the girls in the group proudly proclaimed, "well, my mom, she works with a Cappuchino lady." Still, two days later, I cannot figure out which country she was talking about.
What really got to me today, was another one of my girls. She's had a lot of trouble this year, keeping up with the rest of the class. She's also the slowest mover...the last one in line, the last one out the door. At first I thought it was a behavior problem. Now, I'm thinking it's something more. Needless to say, I've already conferenced with dad about the problem. She was present for the conference and broke down crying. This was before Thanksgiving. Since then, she has tried a lot more to get herself together. And, sadly, even though I can see her effort, I still don't see a whole lot of improvement in her work.
Anyways, every few days this particular girl will come and ask me, "Am I doing a good job today?" Today she asked me again and I, wanting her to know for herself whether she was doing well or not, asked her, "What do YOU think? Do you feel like you're doing a good job?" She said, "Yes, I think so...but I really want to hear what you think?" It was the look in her eyes and that question that stayed with me the rest of the day.
Isn't that what we all want to know? "How am I doing? Am I doing okay? Am I doing things right? Are you pleased with me?" As I write this tears are coming to my eyes. Did I even answer her question? Did she walk away knowing that no matter who she is that I still love her and still think highly of her?
Sometimes I just want to start over...knowing everything I'm supposed to know...just so I can give my best. Sometimes I just want to...well, know that I'm doing the right thing...know that I'm doing okay...that God is pleased with me...that my children are being given the best that I can give them.