Famous Dreams

I keep having dreams about famous people. Billy and Franklin Graham have been in my dreams more than once. I have also met two big name musicians and have asked them about songwriting and performing. In all the dreams I am searching and asking questions that they seem to have answers to. The only one that asked me questions was Donald Trump, he wanted me to go into business with him. Interesting...

Sunday Night at the Coffee House....

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Seeking the Kingdom

I asked a good friend of mine one night as we sat together on a Riverside park bench what he was sure of. I don't remember his answer or my exact words for that matter. What I do remember was the feeling that all was changing and there was nothing I could do to stop the time.

It was not the only time I had ever felt powerless against the unknown. And since that moonlit, fall night I have walked through other days much the same.

There are moments recently when I feel so full. It's this extraordinary feeling of completeness...of being in a moment where nothing else is more important...it happened at the Valentine's Day school dance...I watched my students dancing together with one another and there nothing more beautiful. They were free to be themselves, free to express what was in their hearts. It happened in Honduras as I danced with a bunch of girls during a worship service...and later that night as I walked through candlelit rows of young boys and girls interceding for their country. And then there are moments when I am in the midst of writing a song, or sitting with friends, or walking through a beautiful day, or listening to my students share about their hopes and dreams, or reflecting on how far God has brought me to be in this place, moments when I can't think of anything else that would be better.

My hands are open, ready to receive what God has planned for me. And yet I feel like there is nothing I can hold on to. It is much like water...refreshing, cleansing, it changes my life but it runs through my fingers and what I once held is no longer, and really never was, mine to keep.

My heart is both relieved and broken over this realization. I have wanted so badly to belong somewhere. I have wanted so badly to stay. But He moves me on. And I know why. He is the love of my life. I can't remember a day without Him. I can't remember a day when I didn't need Him...long for Him...think about His love. To love Him is to lose sight of every other thing that would stand in the way of His love. To love Him is to run after the things that are important to Him. Yes, I am free to be who I want to be. But I want to be where He is. I want to be doing what He is doing.

If we would only trust that His love was enough. If we would only believe that in letting go, we would gain everything we ever longed for. But it's the holding on, the days of walking in our own thoughts and strength that keep us from seeing the truth.

Tonight, I caught a glimpse of His heart for me. It was in the midst of singing the songs that He had given me to sing. It was in the midst of sharing His love with a roomful of people...and a worldwide audience(!). I didn't have to say a word...I only had to sing what was in my heart...and it was enough. I felt loved and beautiful and at peace. I didn't need to belong anywhere. I belonged with Him. I saw the connections, the divine appointments. I heard whispers of open doors. I heard my heart begin to leap at the thought of new opportunities.

And I didn't have to strive to get here tonight. I only had to trust. I only had to follow my heart. God opened every door and made connections I never would have known how to make.

Back to where I started, I am not sure of a lot things. I have been afraid of the effects of the changes that will come. I have been afraid of letting go. I have been afraid of holding on. I have felt so full, so secure, so safe, so...hopeful...here. And if there is more...I can't even imagine it. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know what to expect. But I'd be a fool to turn back now. I have to know what lies ahead. I have to know if He really has been speaking these promises to my heart. I have to know why there and not here. I have to know what this leading to get up and go again really means. I have so many questions, but amidst the uncertainties, this is one thing I am sure of...I am moving forward and I belong with the Lord.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Hit and Run

After work tonight I headed out into the rain to get to the studio. I wanted to lay down tracks for 3 more songs. Distracted for a moment by a phone call, I forgot to turn onto the correct street. I hung up the phone and kept driving...trying to figure out how to get back on track. It worked, and I knew I'd get there with plenty of time to get things done. I got ready to to make another turn, rolled to a stop, checked the traffic to my left and promptly felt my car make impact with something and bounce backwards. I realized, after a moment, that I had rolled into the truck in front of me...it was obviously my mistake...and not one that I have ever made before.

The guy in front of me got out of his truck with his arms stretched wide, looking just as shocked as I was about the whole thing. I apologized, ready to face the consequences of my mistake. I was met by hateful words, a whirlwhind of anger...not one ounce of compassion...not any kind of logical assessment of the situation. He cursed me out and all I felt was sorry for him...sorry that I had interrupted his afternoon, sorry that he had no idea what was really important, sorry that he did not know the Lord or His peace. He told me to call the cops, jumped back into his truck, and began to drive forward...I thought to a place where we would be safe to pull out of traffic. So, I called 911 and began to follow him. Except he didn't stop driving. I had the passing thought that I could literally dart into traffic and never see him again. My conscience got the best of me. I kept following...the 911 operator answered...and that's when I realized that I didn't know where I was and I could no longer see the man's truck in the midst of all the traffic.

I didn't cry until that point. I wanted to explain what happened and all the operator wanted was for me to tell him where I was. He became obviously frustrated with me and I with him...I expected him to know the city streets better...he expected me to be standing under exact street signs.

Well, my car was not damaged...aside from a small scratch. And the man who claimed he was injured disappeared into thin air. I was left in the rain waiting for a police officer, and running out of time in the studio.

After the ordeal, and still in between tears, I began to ponder what had happened. If ever there was a time to hear the Lord's voice it is now. I am running after what He has put in my heart to do. I am stepping into a place where He has destined me to be. But there is a very real enemy that doesn't want me in that place. I have been trying to record for two months now...and really, much longer than that. Tonight's hit and run was just another decoration on the cake. It made me see things in a whole different light...all the distractions, the trials, the long tired hours that keep me from doing what is in my heart to do. I need to know what to hold onto. I need to know what to let go of. I need to be close to Him so that when I face days like these my peace does not run out the door. And I know that, ultimately, God is working everything together for my good...I'd just like to rest in this, know my place, stay above the confusion and enjoy every step along the way.

Ode To Valentine's Day

Tomorrow I will wear pink
I will give 16 personal valentines
To 7 boys and 9 girls
And when the school bell rings
There will be a dance, my first elementary school dance.

I'd really love to go on a date tomorrow.
(But what I'd love more is tickets to the Rascal Flatts concert next week.)
I'd really love to be surprised with little notes or flowers.
(But I already have these amazing kids who have been telling me about their "surprise" gifts for about two weeks now....and my parents did give me a box of chocolates today.)

Valentine's Day...
You make me more aware of my great longing
To be caught up in surprise and sentiment
You are only one day
Yet so much of my affirmation has been caught up in your gift
Well, I am here to say
With or without you
Today, I am loved...and so I will be tomorrow and the day after that
I will celebrate love every day of my life
Thank you for the reminder, your point is well taken
Tomorrow, I will begin again.

Undivided

If I kept going at this rate I would pass the mark for a 60 hour work week. And that's just where it begins...I finally started adding it all up in my head. Getting up early, going to bed late...keeping up (or still falling behind) with paper work, making time for friends and family, wishing for more time with worship and song. There are not enough hours in the day according to my schedule. I find myself wanting to retreat to a quiet place, wanting to drop it all and find peace again.

In the midst of all these happenings my world is getting realigned. Priorities are making themselves known. My heart is telling me what is truly important. And the struggle beneath the surface is showing me just how right or wrong I have been all along.

It is not good to be so tired. But it is good to learn what is the good and right path for our lives...and I suppose that is probably what I am learning right now. It takes listening, it takes letting go, it takes being humble enough to back away and say no, it takes courage and discipline. This list is overwhelming me a bit... :) Needless to say, I can't do all of this on my own.

Psalm 86:11 -

Teach me your way, O Lord,

and I will walk in your truth;

give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name.

Hold Me Close

Keep my heart so close to yours
Along this journey, so new and fresh
Keep me from letting go of your promise
Keep me from holding on to what would hold me
All I want is you
All I want is to see your face
To see your smile and to hear your laugh
All I want is to be close to you
Keep me from turning away
Ravish my heart
Burn away the things that are not pure and true
Hold me close
Chase after me
Tell me that I am the desire of your heart
Tell me over and over so that I cannot forget
So that a doubt would never cross my mind
I want to be with you
Where you are
Tell me where you will be
And I will follow

Confession of a Teacher

The biggest worry I have as a teacher...is that I have not esteemed my students enough.

Did I encourage so and so today? Did I take the time to listen to what was important to them? Did I reason with them when they needed redirection? Did I allow them to take up their own responsibility?

Or was I too rushed to stop and listen to their questions about the world? Was I too focused to see what was really going on? Did my agenda really line up with their needs?

Do I cause them to want to learn about the world? Do I instill in them a love of research and learning? Do I lift them up and esteem them so that they will have the confidence to continue?

Confessions of a teacher:
Today, it was easier to plough through the lesson than it was to comfort and encourage.
It was easier to silence the confusion rather than speak to the heart of the situation.
It was easier to share my own frustrations rather than empathize and discern how to be patient with their concerns.
It was easier to walk in silence rather than share in a delightful conversation.

I remember being a child and needing affirmation. I am an adult and I need that now. I want to know that I am doing a good job. I want the freedom to be independent and make my own decisions. I want attention and love. If I could just figure out a way to balance this realization and my reaction to their attempts at learning....then maybe we would have more peace.

My own patience basically depleted...I am in need of God's help. These children have been entrusted to me. They are so precious...each and every one. They are with me for just a season...and I know that they are assigned to my classroom for a reason. Lord, show me how to love them...show me how to teach them...show me how to draw out the best in them. I never wanted to be the frustrated teacher. I never wanted to be the one who grew bitter because I did not understand my students.

Tomorrow, I will try again.

The Great Unknown

Every note drives me further than the one before.

Sometimes I cannot imagine that my life would be any different than it is now. I love the people that God has given me. I love the opportunities, the ministries. I am both challenged and stretched in this season. I am encouraged in so many different ways. How could it be different than this?

But then I sit down and I begin to play the songs. I hear the sounds coming from my guitar, my hands, my mouth, my heart. I begin to believe that there really is more....that a new season is just around the corner. Because this gift that God has given me is growing. It is spreading in ways that I never imagined. It creates this atmosphere of expectancy.

And all I can do...is live out this day...with the songs in my heart...singing them out...looking forward to what lies ahead...and take these steps...into the great unknown.

Where He Is

I knew it would happen...the moment that I made the decision. I knew it would come to making the same choice again and again. I knew that I would have to let go. I knew that I would have to start all over again. And yet I chose this road. Not because I knew all the answers. Not because it seemed the prettiest or the best. But only because it was the road that brought pure life to my heart.

Yes, it has seemed almost impossible, the least likely. But I can't let it go. What if I didn't go? Then what? Would I always wonder at the mysteries that awaited me there? Would I ever experience my true heart's desire? Or would I be left to wallow in the fear and uncertainty that kept me here?

It's time again...to pick it all up and follow God. He spoke one word to me years ago...a word that has never left my heart. And even though I can't imagine life any different than it is now. Even though I can't imagine leaving and starting over again. Even though I can't imagine how in the world such an endeavor will be paid for. I have to follow the call. Because when God says go, we must go.

I have friends to hold my hand on either side....to comfort and encourage, the empathize and dream, the cheer on and beckon. I am so blessed to have them in my life. God knew that I needed strength for this journey.

We all have a destiny, and at the right time and place it will begin to unfold. I am seeing the bittersweet journey. I am looking at my children, my parents, my friends....longing to hold them forever, longing to make time stand still, and yet knowing that these moments are only moments passing before my very eyes. Our days are so fleeting and yet they are so full of dreams, love, joy, longing, desire, pain....our days are so wonderful. How do we contain its fullness? The task seems too overwhelming.

My only solution is to keep pressing on. The only way we will ever keep from sinking into our past, into what might have been, into all of our "if onlys" is to move forward. And moving forward tells us that there is more. Moving forward is an act of faith, if you will. Even when we don't feel like letting go...even when our only hope is in our understanding of the circumstances that surround us now...we have to move on. We have to trust that God is bigger than the here and now. We have to trust that His plans really are better than our plans. We have to trust that when we run ahead, He will fix everything that we left behind.

My desires are all up in the air. I want one thing one day and then change my mind the next. But I do know that I heard God say this one thing....and that is the thing I must be faithful to. That is the thing I must run after. Because where God speaks...there He is. And more than anything else in the world....I want to be where He is.

I am listening to "Traveler" tonight. It's a good one. :)

Fighting for Life

I sat up until early morning hours with my roomate deep in conversation. And the question that burned in my mind as we talked also woke up with me this morning as the sun came through my windows.

What am I fighting for?

Life happens. People come across our paths. Opportunities present themselves. Some things are gained and some are lost. But what is important? What should we be running after, holding on to, protecting with all our hearts?

Anything goes in our culture these days. If it makes you happy...do it. If it makes you uncomfortable or angry...drop it and leave it behind. Faithfulness is so easily discarded for comfort. Love so easily mangled by conditions and mismanaged expectations. And for Christians the lines are becoming harder to see. What really is wrong? What really is right? Surely this loving God will love us in our compromise. Sure this loving God would stay with us as we entertain the very things that break His heart. And the thing is...He does still love us.

But here we are...loved by this great God...giving Him lip service at best, showing up in the places that make us look like faithful followers, and yet turning our backs when He asks us for our love in return.

Why ? Why do we insist on loving our culture, loving the toys and enticements, loving the food and the drinks, loving the men and women that come across our paths, loving our homes and our things, loving money, loving, loving, loving....and never knowing what true love really is????

How do we miss it? How do we feel so empty after giving our love to all of these things? How do we feel as if we have given everything only to have nothing in return???

It's because these things, these people, this love...is nothing. Without knowing God we are nothing. Without finding His love it's all meaningless. We will be satisfied for a time and then come up hungry and thirsty again.

When our eyes open for the first time to see God's love, the way it was meant to be....it will be a new day.

No longer will we be struggling to be good enough to enter the doorway of a church. No longer will we be afraid of not being heard as we offer up a prayer. No longer will we compromise what we truly wish for in our hearts because we will know that what we wish for is really possible.

And when we know...that true love is possible...will we run after it? Will we fight for it?

True love as in....the awakening of our hearts, finding peace in the midst of our storm, complete trust when everything else is shaken, complete joy in what we have been given, honesty in our relationships, purity in our motivations towards one another, acceptance despite our flaws, the desire to change in order to draw closer to one another, the embracing of life and adventure.

Will we leave all else behind to find this God who has been waiting to show us what is really true? Will we leave house, family, friends, entertainments...our very lives...to find His life in return?

Because the truth is....when we have lost all that we have, we have gained so much more.

He is calling our hearts. It's the sound we hear as our eyes search across a night on the town.
It's the sound we hear when the house is empty and there's no one else to interrupt our thoughts. It's the wind blowing, the rains falling, the sun parting through the clouds. It's in the eyes of our grandparents. It's in the sound of our children's laughter. That life...that we just can't put our finger on. That life...that makes us want to live better. He is calling our name.

It's not just a religion. It's not just church on Sunday. He is the very life we were meant to be embrace. We have been so blind...trying to love on our own. It will never be enough.

What am I fighting for? I am seeing reasons to leave all compromise behind. There is a God to love, a world to see, a people to embrace. And it will only come through knowing Him.

New Year

Well, it is a new year....which calls for a new post. :)

Tonight, I am getting ready to go back to work....getting ready as in setting the alarm clock, thinking about welcoming my kids back to school, nothing too extensive.

I am still working in the studio. It's been quite a process this time. I am learning about waiting and working hard. I am learning what's really in my heart about all of this. It's good.

I was praying in my car on the way home tonight...telling God what was on my heart. I was thinking about Christmas this year...and how grown up Christmases without kids don't seem to be quite as exciting. I wanted it to be exciting...but somehow the season rushed on and I couldn't quite get ahold of it all. What stuck out to me most was the fact that although I was blessed with thoughtful gifts from my family and friends...it wasn't anything that would have been on my list. But when I thought about it...I hadn't made a list. Which led me to a very important discovery.

I just expect people to know me. I expect them to know what is in my heart and then act towards me in that manner. But have I given them the chance to know me? Have I given them a true picture of who I really am or what is really important to me?

There is a verse in the Bible that says we have not because we ask not. I wonder how many times we go without simply because we have not asked.

In light of all this, I plan on asking a lot more. I just keep hearing God saying..."What is it you really want? What is truly in your heart?" And I think that finally I am about done with saying..."Oh, I don't really need anything. Oh, it's ok, I can do without. or It's not that important....etc, etc."

We come up with so many excuses of why our own hearts are not important enough. There will always be someone who will be in a worse situation. There will always be a compromise or stand in for what we really and truly wished for.

But what if we truly believed that God had a best for us...had someone or something better in mind than we ever imagined? What if we had the courage to ask and then believe that He would really answer?

Someone recently reminded me that God is a good father. A good father would never give a child a stone when they were asking for a good meal. A good father longs to give good gifts to his children. He would want to know what is important to his children...want to fill their children's requests with the very best he could give.

So, this year, my heart is about to open up. I plan on telling God what I really want...what is really important to me. And I plan on trusting Him to answer. I also plan on loving my family and friends the same way. I plan on telling them what is important to me...what I really and truly desire. It will take faith and trust but I am pretty sure it will bring more peace and provision in the coming seasons. I am pretty sure it is what God has wanted all along...honesty and complete trust.

New Year

Break forth o great song
from my lips and from my heart
break forth and tell of the wonders He has done
Let the rivers burst from their riverbanks
Let the rains explode from the clouds
And let all that is within me praise the God I love.

In this season, I am learning the heart of God.
I see my frailties. I see my weaknesses.
I see that I could so easily give up and I have done so.

But He has not given up on me. I feel His fervency in the depths of my soul.
I have waited longer than I have wanted to.
I have come to the end of myself and I see that there is more.
I have sung out my songs only to find that I still need to dig deeper for the spring of energy that would burst forth from the very depths of who I am.

I am waiting and breaking through.
Such a small beginning and yet it seems so grand. I want to hold it in my hands...secure the things I think I see. And yet, those dreams are not safe with me. They are safe with Him. And I must cling to Him, run after His heart, hold fast to what I know to be true. Without Him, all of this would be meaningless.

His plans are greater than my own.
There is more.
And in this new year my prayer is to run with God and to wholeheartedly follow the path He has set before me.

Safety

My brother and his girlfriend decided to clean the house Sunday morning instead of attending church. If you click on this link you will find out what happened that morning.

Colorado Shooting

All I have to say is that I am so thankful for God's protection. Josh and Amber would have been at this place, at this time. It is so hard to understand these happenings. And it is so humbling to see when God orders our steps out of harm's way.

Next Tuesday

Well, it's been two years.
But by the end of next week...hopefully...you will hear some brand new songs...on a brand new recording. Yay!!! :)

Merry Christmas

There is a peace about this season I have yet to find in any other. Flip to any radio station and you will hear songs about the love of God. Look in almost any department store or public venue and you will probably find a nativity scene on display. People are picking out gifts for one another. Families are coming together. And I can't help but think, that no matter what religious tradition is being followed this time of year, at the root of it all, we are celebrating because God loved us…and still does.

In this day and age, it is easy to imagine Jesus as a nice figure in history; a story to be told to our children; a source of peace when facing a difficult challenge. But how did His story make it through these thousands of years? Why are there so many who seem to cling to His existence even now?

Don't you ever wonder if you really need God…because you feel like you're fine on your own? And if you really did feel a need for Him…how in the world would you ever tell Him and actually feel like He heard you? And how in the world could you be good enough for Him anyways? Even after growing up in a Christian home, I still have wondered about these things.

There are always secrets that we hold deep in our hearts. Secrets that we wouldn't tell anyone else because if they knew then how would we ever face them again? Or face ourselves for that matter? We would rather hide and face the torment on our own. We would rather show a better face in order to find acceptance, even if that acceptance was only based on half truths. We hide behind secrets and only become mirror images of ourselves. And these same secrets keep us from ever knowing the love of God.

This is the season when we get to hear about what God really thinks about us. Amidst the trips to Santa's North Pole, the last minute holiday shopping, the baking, the decorating, the singing, the bustling about…stop…and listen. There is a reason for this holiday.

A long time ago, God saw you. And He knew that you would live at this very time and place. He knew the color of your hair, the job position you would have. He knew the condition of your heart. He knew what you are worrying about right now. He knew your stubbornness and your pride. He knew your laughter. He knew who would love and who you would miss. He knew what you wish for, what you pray for as you lay in bed at night. And He knew that you would never ever be able to be good enough to get to Him.

But He loved you anyways. He chose you before you ever even heard His name. And He couldn't stand the thought of losing you. So, He did what any loving father would do if his child were lost…He ran after you.

That's the whole reason Jesus showed up on Earth. God had to send His love in a way that we could understand, in a way that we could relate. He sent His son…to tell us who we really were…to tell us that we were not alone…to tell us how much He loved us. He became one of us. And then, because He knew that we would die without Him…He took our place. He really did. He took the blame for all of the reasons that kept us from Him, all the secrets, lies, sins and darkness…and He died with them…He carried our darkness so that we didn't have to.

But He had a secret too...and that was that His love was stronger than all of those things.

What would happen if we faced the truth? The truth that we are empty, alone, afraid, angry, and confused. What would happen if we realized we didn't have to carry this load anymore? Because we don't.

The wonder of Christmas is that God's love will bring the answers we need, will bring the love we long for, will bring the peace we cry out for.

The wonder of Christmas is that we are not alone. God loves us and He wants us.

There's no more reason to hide. We are accepted despite the way we act, despite what we hold deep down inside, despite our hopes and our fears. There's a verse that says, "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." It's time for the truth…always has been. Just think of the possibilities. When we are right with God…everything else will fall into place.

All you have to do is speak into the silence. All you have to do is ask and believe that He will answer. He will and your life will never be the same.

Merry Christmas.

Small Town Streets

Tonight...all I want to do is bundle up in a warm coat and scarf, maybe even with mittens and a hat, and walk down a quiet, small town street, listening to the sound of snow falling, breathing in the crisp, cold air, enjoying how cold my face feels as I walk through the night.

One day, it will all make sense....

After my treatment today, I pondered the words of my technician.
In the midst of the pain she had said, "Well, I always say that I can stand the pain as long as I know that in the end it will be something that makes me feel better about myself". And let me tell you, the treatment was PAINful. But hours later I don't remember the pain as much. I mean, I remember...it's just that the benefits begin to far outweigh those moments of great discomfort. And every couple of months, I know that I will subject myself to this pain yet again. But there is an end goal....there is something I want more than the pain itself...and so I must be willing to walk through the process.

All this to say, there are other discomforts....other processes to walk through....painful at times. And tonight I reminding myself that there is an end in sight....there is a reason for the pain and there is an better outcome directly connected to the end of it.

Depth comes through waiting and walking through.
Without waiting I don't think we'd ever become who we were meant to be.
We become more real.
More relatable.
More able to reach out and connect to others who have been waiting too.

Well, this is about all I can muster at the moment...other than to say...that God is good and He hears the cries of our hearts. I look forward to seeing His answers in the days to come.

Helped

I called him during my lunch hour on Wednesday as my car began to shudder and shake. I had left the school to buy cookies for the teacher meeting that afternoon. Most likely, I could have figured it out on my own...I could have waited until I left school to take my car to the garage. I could have ignored the problem and hoped for it to go away. But my dad is the best answer in any car crisis. I count on him to know what to do next. So I called to tell him about the problem. Almost right away he had already decided...he was going to take the day off to help me fix my car. What do you do in a moment like that...knowing your dad is going to come to the rescue...go out of his way to take care of something ?

I woke up this morning with the puffiest eyes I have ever seen. Seriously, I look like I have the eyes of a 70 year old. I called my mom...because mom's know what to do when it comes to things like this. She left her quiet Saturday morning to come and take me to the doctor. And I could have gone by myself. But it was so nice to have her there.

And then, this afternoon...after I had been held at the doctor's office for what seemed like forever and then finally got home...I was about in tears....my friend called. She brought me dinner from Panera...we watched a movie together...she drove me to WalGreen's to buy eyedrops and allergy medicine as we reinacted scenes from Hitch. I felt so cared for.

And my roomate...is so giving...goes out of her way to take care of so many things. Her and her boyfriend have blessed my life. I'm not sure that they even know how much encouragement I have received just from being around them.

I feel as if I am on the receiving end of so much grace. I am being helped instead of having to survive on my own. I don't know why it feels so out of the ordinary...but it does...and I am so thankful.

A Poem (or Poems) for the Evening

We wrote 5 W's Poems in class today. (Who, What, When, Where, Why) I think this type of poem reminds me of Wes. It captures a great deal of thought in very few words.

I
am still waiting
through days and nights
in my heart of hearts
because it is hard to give up hope.

Here is another:

He
listened to my words
that day
in the midst of other activities
contemplating, I suppose, what it might be like.

I
looked into his eyes
that same day
at the table where we sat
hoping to invest in more moments of just the same.

And another:

That city
has been calling my name
for six years
from some place deep within
unwilling to let me stay where I have settled in.

One more:

God
help me to rest from worry
tonight
in the patterns of my thoughts
I need to trust you.

I
feel better
now
at my computer
my thoughts creatively expressed and standing on their own.

It's hard to stop writing these poems....hehe. :)