Saturday, November 6

What I didn't know...

Almost exactly one year ago I sat on a park bench and listened to someone tell me how my life would change. It was hard to believe at the time, but there was no stopping what was already set in motion. It was on that very day, as the sun was setting and the cold wind trying to find its way to the inside of my warm winter coat, that God came very near to my heart.

As the realization set in of what was about to take place, I looked up to see a gardener came out of nowhere, right to the very place I was sitting on that bench. He said hello with a big smile, apologized for interrupting, and begin to set new plants in the ground. He was so joyful, so opposite of how I felt on that beautiful fall afternoon. And then there was that bird, that I had never heard the sound of before who kept blurting out his song all around me; kept reminding me of my grandfather when he would sing in the sanctuary of his church. In that moment, I had this feeling that I was not alone...that in my deepest despair...He had shown up to remind me that all would be well.

I thought I knew God pretty well. I thought I understood the depths of His love. What I didn't know was that I had been missing out on so much more. What I didn't know was that half of my heart was laying hidden and dormant beneath obligations and routines...beneath fears of not being good enough and being too much all at the same time.

So He fixed that too.

What I didn't know...was that when life changed...
I would love my family all over again.
I would appreciate my friendships so much more.
I would grow into a place of wanting to give more than I could get.
my answers would become less important than my questions.
I would learn to depend on God...and He would be enough.

What I also didn't know was that I would be free to love and to be loved in a deeper way than I ever imagined. I didn't know that life would look so much more hopeful, so much more happy exactly one year later. And with each passing day, I am seeing God's heart all along was to give me my heart's desires. But even more than that...knowing the Lord has become my desire...and to me that makes all the difference...it makes everything else so much sweeter...so much more full...so much better than anything I could have ever attained on my own.

If you are reading this today, and way deep down inside you are wondering if there is more....
there is.
God is the great designer, great orchestrator of all things good. He is into the perfect details of making things beautiful, strong, and just right.

I didn't know that it was okay to hope for more. Now I know. God is an extravagant, gracious, loving Father. He longs to lavish us with good things. If you let Him take you into the process...He will bring you through in ways you never could have imagined.

This is Mike. And I never imagined him. :)

Wednesday, October 20

32

Us kids traveled home for the weekend to surprise mom and dad. We snuck in late Friday night and then spent all day Saturday looking at pictures, playing games, talking, eating banana pancakes and delicious t-bone steaks (not at the same time, of course). The best part is that they didn't even have a clue about our homecoming...it made the party even better.



Lots of memories.

The party masterminds.

The newlywed travelers. :)

They eventually warmed up to each other. :)



No party is complete without Jim's salsa and a good game of Apples to Apples.

We ended the night with cake and a milk toast. :)


Congratulations on 32 years, Mom and Dad!

You have raised us to love the Lord and love each other. You have taught us so much about forgiveness, hard work, laughter and the unconditional love that brings us home over the years. You've made a lot of sacrifices. You've comforted a lot of bruises and broken hearts. You've helped us dream big. You've taken us on trips and instilled a love of seeing the world. You've surprised us and loved on us. You've taken time to listen and share your advice. Thanks for believing God through all the good times and bad. Thanks for believing in each other. Thanks for believing in us. We love you. :)

Monday, October 18

Rain Garden


So, two Sundays ago, a few of us spent time planting a rain garden. Have you ever heard of a rain garden? I hadn't. Apparently, after the floods this past spring, the city of Nashville incurred some fines for the water table levels. In other words, as the water rose, the sewer water had mixed with the city water...and well, you can guess the rest.

The good news is that the money from the fines was used to plug back into making Nashville a greener city. One of the places the money went to was an organization that has the goal of planting 200 rain gardens at elementary schools during this 2010-2011 school year. We were one of the schools to participate.


Some interesting facts about rain gardens:

1. Their main function is to return water to the water table.

2. Since water is intended to go into the ground, not storm drains, water is redirected from those drains into the gardens. Rain gardens help prevent the overflowing of sewers, which ultimately keeps our human waste out of our streams.

3. The water is absorbed into the garden, helping the native plants grow tall and strong.

Before

Working by hand to turn up the soil.

Planting

Watering


Although our rain garden is a welcome addition to the school courtyard, it does seem, well, a bit small in comparison the larger city problem. But add this one to many others around the city and the effect is greater and greater.



There's something about getting your hands dirty and working with the ground. There's something about knowing that you are making a difference for the community you live in. The sun was hot that day, we only had one shovel, and with the absence of a hose we had to transport water in a large garbage canister. But our job was a success. I feel way more appreciative knowing that I got to be a part of the process. Thanks to our landscaper I am now way more aware of how plants can be used to make our growing, changing, developing world a better place.

Did you know that a lot of plants that are planted around parking lots have a purpose? Their leaves soak up the oils from the ground and as the sun shines on them the oil is broken down in a natural way. I was amazed by that one fact alone...and there were many more passed around that day.

Also, I learned something interesting about transplanting plants. When you take them out of the pots they are transported in, you have to break up their roots. If you do not break them up, they will continue to grow in a circular pattern like they did in the pot. This will cause the plant to become unhealthy and eventually die...it won't be able to take root in the new ground. The landscaper made a point of saying how mean it sounds to break up the roots, but ultimately it was for their good. It made a point to me as well....I have very often felt that my roots were being broken up...but in the end it turned out for my best.
There are lessons everywhere to be learned.


For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities
—his eternal power and divine nature—
have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made,
so that men are without excuse.
Romans 1:20

Tuesday, October 12

Project: AK-47

So, for the last month or so I have been spending Tuesday afternoons putting together merchandise orders for an organization call Project: AK-47. Basically, it's an organization that raises awareness and funds, helping to free children around the world from living as child soldiers.

Right now, when people make a donation of $10, they receive dog tags with a child's name, age, and country imprinted on them. As I have packaged these orders, I have been reading the dog tags. Some of these boys and girls are as young as six years old. I think of my little first graders. I can't even imagine.

Here is one story out of the many: Neso's story

If you are not at all aware of what goes on in places like Burma, the Philippines, Sri Lanka, check out this website: http://www.projectak47.com/ . When you realize the gravity of what is really going on, your life will never really be the same.

"WEAR THEIR REALITY." Project: AK-47's dog tags for child soldier advocacy from PROJECT: AK-47 on Vimeo.

Sunday, October 3

Good Southern Cooking

I ate dinner at Monell's last night down in Germantown. This is the type of restaurant where there are 12 chairs around a large dining table and all the food is shared family style. "Passing to the left" is the rule and there is more than enough food in every dish that is passed.

If your party is small enough, you will end up sitting with other families. It is definitely the teacher in me, but I looked around and thought about how proud Dr. Martin Luther King would have been. This is a place where all different worlds are placed in a setting of fellowship and passing the bread. After a few minutes of acclimating to the table, stories and smiles begin passing between strangers. Seeing the light come to people's eyes as they connect for the first time is one of my favorite things in life.

There is no need to choose from a menu, the choices for dinner are already set each night. Last night it was pulled pork, meatloaf, fried chicken, green beans, turnip greens, cornbread, biscuits and gravy, peach preserves, baked apples, corn pudding, potatoes, fried pickles, banana pudding, sweet tea. It was kind of like Thanksgiving in October. Yum. :)

I sat at the table and felt thankful. Thankful to have been invited to spend time with my roommate's newly growing family. Thankful to be able to play with cutest little 2 year old and his 7 month old brother. Thankful to be eating a good meal. I have never really gone to food for comfort. If anything, I am the opposite. I eat a lot of cereal and frozen meals when left on my own. But last night it was a comfort....to be eating home style, southern food, to be surrounded with old and new friends, to be out on the town and part of a community.

For a few moments, I couldn't help but look back and remember about 2 years ago at this time when I sat with a family I called my own, in a restaurant much like this. It was a day I'll never forget. I was in love and part of a family who that very morning had turned to the Lord. My heart overflowed and it hasn't stopped since.

We cannot see the future of our lives, but we can be thankful the moments we are given. I am thankful to have been a part of those moments in the past. I am thankful for new moments like last night. Life goes on. All things are new. Life will come back one meal at a time, one family at a time, one day at a time.

Sunday, September 26

Holding Onto the Good

We all affect one another whether we realize it or not. We are part of one another's stories and we cannot be erased...no matter how good or bad the situation may be, no matter how long or short our meeting might have been.


I am forever changed by the people I have both loved and feared. I love sushi because I was adopted into a family of 9 in Tulsa, OK during my college years. I know how to run a structured classroom because of a principal who chided me for allowing students to sharpen pencils in the middle of the school day, among many other things. I use expressions I never thought I would use all because I have spent time with people who use those same words. There are places, and people, and causes that are so important to me now. I never would have known them without the influence of another.

Life is a beautiful tapestry woven in such a miraculous way. I don't believe that any of us meet by chance. I don't believe that our lives are a series of chaotic and random events. I don't believe it because there are too many reasons to believe that there is a purpose behind it all.

I am aware enough to know that I can easily let people down, because I have. I'm humbled enough to know that there are those who will still love me through the years and despite my imperfections. This kind of friendship means more than anything in the world. It's the kind of friendship I long to extend.

There is a profound depth to our souls...so deep sometimes that we do not realize the connections that are made or the impact of those connections. I do not step out of my door without remembering. I do not hear a sound or a song without the accompaniment of the past. The smell of school supplies alone will send me back to childhood and what it was like to anticipate a fresh season of learning. Who knew, that many years later, I would stand in front of the class shaping the minds of my very own students? Who knew that the circumstances I faced would help me to connect with the circumstances of the lives of the little ones that I see every day?

Yes, memory is an inevitable side effect of time. It lends itself to the tasks of either detriment or fruitfulness in our lives. We get to decide. If we long to move forward, if we long for the fruit of love in our lives, we can no longer complain that "he did this" or "she did that". It must become "because of ___, I will now ____". No more victim mentality to the throws of the past. No more lying down and letting painful memories trample our hearts. At some point, the ashes will become a beautiful masterpiece. It is the faithful promise of a loving God.

So, I can either be thankful that loving someone has changed my life or I can be full of despair at the alterations I did not want to see. Someone said to me once, "It's not about what God is taking out, it's about what He is putting in." I want to see everything in that light. God, what are you making room for? What are you putting into me through knowing these people? What lasting gifts have you given to me even in the seeming loss of what I held so dear?

When we are thankful for the people (good and bad and everything in between) that we have been given (people who literally cross our paths in our every day lives), when we see that God was loving us all along, when we choose to accept the passing of seasons, there is a difference in our lives. It's not about controlling our own perfect circumstances or relationships. It's not about loving or hating everything that someone stood for or still stands for in our lives. It's about choosing to trust...that all of it...every broken piece, every color, every smell, every sound, every word on a page, every place that holds a memory, every musical note in a song...will be redeemed, will be made right, will lend itself to the masterpiece of a beautiful story.

We are better for knowing one another. We are better for the gifts that we give and have been given. We are better for the cleansing and the strengthening that has come through trials. We are better for the chance to know this God for who He really is.

We are better because we are loved by a God who works ALL things together for the good. (Romans 8:18-28)


~1 Thessalonians 5:21~

Test everything. Hold on to the good.





Wednesday, September 15

To Dream Again

It has felt like a very bad dream, for a very long time.

I get to the point where I feel wide awake...I forget that anything was ever wrong. Sometimes it's with close friends. Most of the time it's in the middle of a school day. Eighteen little 6 and 7 year olds will brighten anyone's day. Well, at least they brighten mine. :) When I'm at school, I feel alive and way more like myself. I love the teachers I work with. I love my kids. But, at the end of the day, we all leave, and I remember...that tonight I will go home to one frozen Amy's organic dinner and maybe some ice cream with frozen berries a little while later. I remember that there is music to write. I remember that I don't know the words. I remember how much I miss that back porch swing and afternoons at the park.

Life is not the same. What I believed about people is not the same. Every new piece of information that comes my way is a new twist and turn. But, when all is said and done, there is nothing I can do about that...except pick up my heart and move forward.

Even in the midst of change, there are so many beautiful pieces to hold onto. I love giving more than ever. Being outdoors is now more of a basic necessity. I want simplicity and realness. I want honesty...at any cost. I want to be relevant...yet effective. I want to know God...I'm tired of all things religious. I don't have it all together...and now...that's okay. I don't have to be strong anymore. I take each day as it comes.

Someone very important died this past spring. I only spent time with him a handful of times over the past couple of years. I was privileged to have known him, loved him as a brother. He had a way of putting others at ease. He had a way of making those around him feel alive. What I remember about him, I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I'll never forget how he cared for me without ever really knowing me. I'll never forget the way that even after he was gone he found a way to tell me that I was important. I think about him every day. I think about the family that I loved as my own. I still hear their words ringing in my ears, "No regrets." I want to embrace life. I want to ask the questions. I want love with honesty and affection. I want to laugh and see the whole world. I lost everything this past spring...I lost all of them. They lost me. And I've been taking one breath at a time ever since.

I lost my church family. I lost the things I thought were really important to me. But one thing I know...that when one little sheep goes missing...God leaves the 99 to go find him. And so, I am hoping, that soon, very soon, I will be found by the God who loves me. I want to wake up from the ledge I have been standing on. I want to breath a sigh of relief and not be afraid to dream again.

Extreme Home Makeover


I spent the evening on the other side of town watching a couple hundred volunteers rebuild a school with Extreme Home Makeover. This school had been flooded in the spring floods earlier this year. If you watched any news footage of Nashville back at that time, you probably remember a portable classroom floating down the highway. This is the school that is now being helped.

I had gone in hopes of volunteering after school today, but when I got there, I was told that there were already too many volunteers for the evening. Good problem to have. So I did the next best thing and stood along the spectator fence. I probably stood for about an hour, watching the volunteers put together pieces of the project. Everything was well organized. The volunteers were happy and glad to be there. The evening air was warm and beautiful, the sunset full of color. There is something wonderful about the smell of lumber, and even more wonderful is the sight of a community working together.

I thought about the fact that at one point...this whole project...this whole show...was an idea in someone's head. When shared, this idea then sparked the ideas of a few more people. I wondered if at some point they had even imagined that the value of their idea would inspire the hard work and dedication of hundreds, even thousands, of others across the country.

I thought about the ideas in my own heart. I thought about the differences between the ideas of these producers and my own. They probably have a lot to do with vision, resources, implementation, and hard work. Nothing is impossible...it just takes follow through, it takes not giving up. It probably takes believing that the ideas and the dreams are worth running after.

In between all of those thoughts, I longed to do something bigger than myself. I longed to make a difference and love other people well.

PS - I also wished to see Ty...or someone from the show...lol. Maybe tomorrow. :)

Friday, August 6

For They Shall Be Comforted












I was not looking forward the summer...not at all. And now, I stand on the other side of it...stand mind you...and I see how blessed I have been throughout the past few months.


Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
~Matthew 5:4


I have been comforted by friends and family and I can't tell you how much this means to me. You all have encouraged me to trust God deeper and to let go in ways I never imagined before. Thank you.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for unconditionally welcoming me home, praying for me, and cheering me on.

Thank you, Lys, for late nights, honest words, and playing with my hair until all the tears ran out.

Thank you, Jim, for telling me that my safety was more important than anything...I felt so cared for that day.

Thank you, Josh and Amber, for walking through it with me and unselfishly sharing your love during your own time of celebrations.

Thank you, Kim. You have been a gift straight from the Lord. I'm so thankful our last names start with a T...and so thankful for such a loyal friend.

Thank you, school family...you don't even know that you have encouraged me beyond words.

Thank you, Gina, for not letting me stay down...we're making it to the other side. :)

Thank you, Andrea, for being my friend and making sure that all was well.

Thank you, to my new Nashville friends for welcoming me into your midst...I really needed you!

Thank you, Ang, for being my friend through the years. I love coming home to our friendship.

Thank you, Holly, for your boldness, your laughter, and your joy. I have missed you!

Thank you, Jenna, for kayaking and walks on the canal, campfires and late nights on the phone.

Thank you, Pete and Aaron, for building the campfire and building homes that bring God's love to so many people.

Thank you, Beth, for taking me in and being my home away from home. Thank you for schooling me in bananagrams and in the best way to write thank you notes. :) I love you, heart sister.

Thank you, Matthew, for sushi, gelato, paninis, and every single text that has brightened my day.

Thank you, Mrs. B, for every word of encouragement you have sent me.

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. V., for Apt. B and your prayers and for being available to take care of so many of us Sweet Aroma kids.

Thank you, PJ,...for being right on time and reminding me that I am loved.

Thank you, Jen and Wen,...for being sensitive to the Lord and for humoring my love for list making. :) Just wait...until we look back and see how good God has been.

Thank you, Mick and Beth, Angela and Will, for inviting me in to see the beautiful families you are creating. It gives me hope. I'm so thankful for your friendships.

Thank you, Jilli, for everything. Your friendship has blessed my life.

Thank you, Mike, for loving Jilli so well and for taking us camping!

Thank you, Zoe, for radically chasing the Lord and showing us all how to fight for the good stuff. Please also thank Zech for his Free.99 advice. :)

Thank you, Angela, for making sure we keep coming together. I love our sleepovers. Thank you for listening and advising. Thank you for sticking up for me. Thank you for your note of recommendation. ;) Your friendship means the world to me.

Thank you, Hezkhel, for being my friend unconditionally. You bless my heart.

Thank you, Karin, for being so strong. Everything goes to the feet of Jesus. ;)

Thank you, Nanette and Eric. You are so consistent and available...so loving and encouraging.

Thank you, America and Billy. You both are so full of love and encouragement.

Thank you Mindy, Julie, and Danae. I can't tell you how much your words and notes of encouragement have meant to me.

Thank you, Trina, for meeting with me for coffee. It meant so much to me.

Thank you to my grandparents who keep me going back to my roots. I'm reminded of where I came from...and it's a good place.

Thank you facebook friends...lol...you can be very encouraging even when you least expect it.

Thank you Andrew Peterson, Kelanie Gloeckler, and Kristene Mueller for singing songs of redemption in a very new season of life.

I would also like to thank the persons who asked me to dance, who took me to dinner, who listened to my songs, who called and texted just to make my day...I think God sent you just so I didn't forget what LIFE felt like again.

Proverbs 14:10 says: Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. There has been much bitterness...but as days pass and refreshing waters and winds pass through them...I am beginning to believe that it will all soon end in joy. I don't know how...or when...but I see how God has carried me...continues to carry me...and I know now that He is good.

I thought He was angry with me. I thought I had done too many things wrong. But He was always working. He gathered me up...took me home to so many places...surrounded me with love...and comforted me when I had come to the very end of everything. Laughter is beginning to color my days...I am seeing humor in everything. There is more joy now than there has ever been. Amazing.


I could go on and on in thankfulness.

Thank you, Lord Jesus...for not leaving me in despair...for strengthening me when I have been weak...for giving me hope for the future.

Thursday, August 5

Going For The Heart

This song just gets to me...right to the very heart of me. Sometimes, I am blatantly reminded of how painful it is to be loved through obligation...because someone felt like they had to say or do something in order to make me happy. That's the worst kind of affection I can think of...based on fear rather than freedom. There is no truth in it. How can anyone assume what someone else is thinking or how they will respond...without giving them a chance?

And then I realize that I do that to God sometimes too. I say and do things because I feel like I have to to make Him have good feelings towards me and treat me well. I don't want Him to hate me...so I do things "right".

I forget that He is unconditional. I forget that He is patient and kind. I forget that He doesn't keep a record of my wrongs. He always believes the best about me. I forget that He trusts me...that He never gives up on me. I forget...that He loves me for me...and He wants me to love Him and to tell Him the truth about where I am.

He doesn't want my performance...He wants my heart.




Mercy

Kristene Mueller



What shall I do with you, my love?

What shall I do with you?

For your loyalty to Me is like the morning clouds,

Like the dew that goes away so early.




What shall I do with you, my love?

You keep bringing Me sacrifices

To ease your mind,

But it's your heart that I want.



Hasn't it been a long road

With disappointments,

Chasing after lovers

That just throw you away?



And are you done fighting now?

All the love it takes to lighten you,

Shame was never meant to be your portion.



You keep bringing Me sacrifices

To ease your mind,

But it's your heart that I want.



Though these sins are red as scarlet,

I will wash them white in My mercy.

Though these sins are red as scarlet,

I will wash them white in My mercy.

Though these sins are red as scarlet,

I will wash them white in My mercy.



What shall I do with you, my love?

What shall I do with you?

You keep bringing Me sacrifices

To ease your mind,

But it's your heart that I want.

Sunday, August 1

Lessons in Letting Go


Have you ever heard the saying about freeing the thing that you love and if it returns to you then it is yours forever? Yeah, me too. It sounds really beautiful doesn't it? Kind of makes me think about the makings of a Hallmark card, or the faithfulness of Mr. Darcy, or even the Folgers coffee commercial when the son comes home and surprises everyone before they wake up in the morning.

I think there are different kinds of letting go. I'm not certain that any of them are easy.

Families are in the constant process of letting each other go. There's the letting go of a child's hand as they learn to walk on their own. The letting go that comes with a new driver's license at 16. Then there's graduation and college. Finally, the day comes where the son or the daughter finds a husband or a wife. There's an ebb and a flow. A needing of each other...and a need for growth and independence. If the parents hold on too tightly...a son or a daughter will not learn to be a confident and healthy adult. There has to be a letting go. And what a joy it is...when confident child returns home with stories, and gifts, and experiences, and love....when the weddings bring new family in and the grandchildren come along. What a joy when there is open communication and unconditional love....when the children know they can return over and over...and leave again without being put in question or worrying about what they are leaving behind. What a joy...when families take care of each other out of love...not out of fear, obligation, guilt and control.

Sometimes we have to let go of our dreams. Don't get me wrong, dreams are important! But sometimes our dreams become the most important things...and we forget about what really matters. We forget about the family and friends who have helped us along the way. We forget that fame, success, and money are very empty words. We forget our peace of mind, or what it feels like to rest. The most awful thing we forget is that we ever needed God...the one who created us...the one who gave us the dream in the first place. Sometimes, when we get what we thought we wanted most, our joy disappears completely.

There are going to be people that we have to let go of. They are going to walk right out of our lives as if we never mattered anyway. It's going to hurt. You might lay on the floor for hours and days wondering what you ever did so wrong. You may lose your appetite. You may think dying is better than living another day. You might ask them to come back. You might ask them to forgive you. They might never hear what you were really trying to say. Maybe you depended on them. Maybe you had their promises to you written out on paper with their name signed at the bottom. Maybe they said things about you that you knew weren't true, but you still wonder about those words anyways. Maybe you're trying to cover it all up and move on. Maybe you ran away. Maybe you look back and wonder what was ever really true. That's when it's time...to let go. You can't hold on to someone who will not hold on to you.

When you let go of someone, forgive them for everything. In the long run, they could never make up for it anyway. They may not even want to. Either way, there's no point in reliving your pain. Imagine what you would say to them if you ran into them on the street...if you had the chance to say everything you've been wanting to say. If you still want to accuse them and plead with them...you haven't forgiven them yet. It's better to imagine treating them as if they had never done anything wrong in the first place. That's really hard to do for some of us I am sure. But when you can come to this peaceful place of letting go...you have learned part of God's love. 1 Corinthians 13 says that "love keeps no record of wrongs".

And forgive yourself. It's really easy to hold on to your regrets. How many things do you wish you could have done differently? How many times do you wish you could go back and say something different? It's a heavy burden to carry, thinking about all of these thoughts. It probably keeps you up at night. You might have the chance to fix things. If you do...you should go for it. But if you cannot and if your circumstances leave you without a way to retrace your steps, there has to come a time when you forgive yourself. Let go of all the things you could have done, should have done, wished you had done better. Let go of the shame and the guilt that keeps you weighed down throughout your days and up late into the nights. Let go of the fact that someone may not have forgiven you for the things that you have done...no matter how much you tried to make it right. What has passed has passed. You can only move forward. You can do things differently starting today. You can be the person you always thought you should be starting now.

So what happens then...after letting go of people and dreams and the regrets of the past? We must let go of our future too I think. You may be reading this and not know God. And then again, maybe you do. Either way...I believe there is a God who loves us very much...and who has a very good plan for our lives. That doesn't mean that everything is easy or pain free...it just means that He is on our side, working on our behalf, putting all the broken pieces together and making a beautiful masterpiece. That means we have to forgive Him too, because sometimes we blame Him for things He never really wanted to happen in the first place. And this God says that if we let go of our own lives and trust Him...He is able to make all things new. We are never His puppets...we are His children...and we are invited to enter into a beautiful story of life and love and freedom...if we would only let go of controlling and protecting the little world we think is most important.
-------------------------------------
I watched a dad and his two year old son on the beach today. I haven't see very many dads bring their little boys out to play very much, but that is exactly what these two came to do. I think he wanted to teach his son about loving the ocean. From what I could see his little guy loved every minute of being at the beach. They played in the sand together, threw sand at each other, and ran and splashed through the waves. At one point the little boy let go and was totally knocked over by a small wave. He got up crying and just wailing away. I was surprised because he had been so happy all along. And what did his dad do? Reached out to bring him back to safety as any good dad would do, of course, and then took him by the hand and helped him stand back up...laughing the whole time as if it was nothing, not in jest but in the pure enjoyment of watching his son learn to love the ocean. I decided right then and there that I wanted to find a way to know my Heavenly Father that way...and when I get knocked down by the seemingly big waves for my size...I want to look up and see him laughing...because then I will know...that everything is going to be okay.

And in all reality...I want to be like that dad. There was no controlling how his son acted and reacted to their day at the beach. They had come to be with each other and to play. There was only pure enjoyment and relationship as he taught him how to love what he loved. That's what love is all about I think. That's how God intended all of our relationships to be.

There is freedom in the letting go and entrusting of things and people to God...freedom to leave and return...freedom to be and to be forgiven...there is safety...and trust...and in the end, the pure joy of being able to run wild chasing each other without a care in the world.

Tuesday, July 27

A Good Investment

















A very wise person once sat down to teach me about making an investment. I wanted to know more about the stock market. I wanted to know what kind of strategies I should use.

This very wise person explained to me that the first thing to remember was not to make decisions based on fear.

The second thing was to look at the history and track the behavior to get a good idea of how a stock would play out in the long run.

I also learned that there are unpredictable variables; there always will be no matter what. This was nothing to be worried about...just known.

Last but not least, I remember this person telling me that if you had made a good investment, no matter what ups and downs there were along the way, you would inevitably see a rise in the overall value of the initial investment. Therefore, it was important not to give up so soon based on the downfalls here and there.

I still have not made any monetary investments in the stock market.

But when I saw a similar graph one day at a school staff meeting...I felt like I had inside information. The information was saying that we weren't doing enough as teachers to raise the data. And I thought in the back of my head...but this is only based on two years, this is based only on limited information, this doesn't take into account the uncontrollable variables. It didn't see the day in and day out successes. It didn't see the individual student progress. By the end of our discussion, I felt smarter than the data that day....less defeated as a teacher who is doing the best she can to keep those students up to date.

And last night I began to think about relationships...friendships...family and all of the ups and downs that accompany knowing someone and being known. There are good days. Very good days. There are bad days. Sometimes downright awful days. If you were to look at one downfall, it would seem that the investment in that relationship was no good at all. If you were to look at one good day you might think that it would always be good and nothing bad could ever happen. The truth is...there is an ebb and flow. The truth is...there are unpredictable days. You cannot assume anything about anyone. It is better to ask...better to watch over time. A person will prove who they are...who they can become. Especially when their hearts are committed to the Lord. You cannot react to your investment with fear...otherwise you may never see it's full value. You may never see the upward rise of the line. You may look back and wished that you had trusted your instincts to hold on a little bit longer. You may look back and wish you had never invested at all. Either way...you take a risk. You must make the choice to stick by your guns...stick by the investments you chose to make.

Because, even while we were still far away...Christ laid down His life for us. And He knew we had the option of walking away. He knew we had the option of turning away. But He believed in the investment He made. Look where it got Him...true love from those who saw the sacrifice that He made.

I want to be a good investor for my whole life. I want to love the way He loved me. Thank you wise friend, for the lesson you taught to me...I am learning it well.

You Came So Close

I am so enjoying the new Andrew Peterson album today.

You could no more kill the darkness
Than you could raise the sun
And the sky was cold and black
Like the barrel of a gun

And I remember the tremble
In the words you spoke
As you balanced there on the brink
At the end of your rope

You came so close to letting go

And you knew she would hate you
She would kick you out
You'd been lying in the bed that you made
When you broke your vow

Then you woke in the wasteland
Of the truth you told
And you turned to see she stayed,
She was bright as a band of gold

You came so close to letting go

So don't let go, 'cause you never know
Don't let go, you never know for sure

And the sky in Nashville
It can bend you low
'Cause the winter here is gray
Without a trace of snow

But there is no shadow
On the silver stars
And the colder the night is,
The closer the heavens are

And so we're so close
So don't let go
'Cause this I know
Don't let go
This I know for sure:
There's still hope

Monday, July 12

Monday's Song


He sat at my reading table, head in his hands. We were finished with the lesson, all the other kids had gone on to their next activity. I began to ask him questions. He just shook his head after each one. This kid was probably one of the toughest in the class; I usually saw him smiling and joking around about something. I had never known him to sit so still and not say a word. He began to cry and then the crying turned to sobbing. I grabbed some tissues and sat with him...listening only to his tears. My next reading group would have to wait.

After several minutes he managed to tell me that he missed his dad...who had left to live in Arizona. I wanted to cry with him. I knew exactly how he felt. He had no control over his circumstances. He couldn't change anyone's mind. He just loved his dad and he wanted to be with him. After he had quieted we talked about the fact that his dad probably missed him that much too. We talked about how God can help us when we're sad. And that was it. He got up, and by the time he left the classroom that day, he was smiling again.

I'll never forget that moment. It happened in the midst of my own pain that day when I thought I wouldn't be able to make it through.

We have been given so much. Homes, food, clothes, transportation, families and friends, the power and luxury of technology, the ability to work, the ability to enjoy life. The list goes on. And most importantly, for a lot of people who read this blog, we have been given peace with Jesus. And if we have been given so much, so many resources, and the very essence of life, I would have to say that much would be expected of us in return.

Hopefully, as we grow into adults, our quest does not turn in search for more happiness for ourselves; hopefully, at some point in our lives, our quest will turn in search of how we can tend to our resources well, cause them to grow, and then to use those resources to help those in need.

Resources are a gift from God, we should neither despise or reject them. Who knows what good can come from placing resources in the right hands? Who knows how they could be used to show God's love and provision to a world in desperate need of even the most basic of needs...like clean water? As followers of Christ, there is no room for selfishness, and considerably less room for false humility. We must learn how to take care of what we ourselves have been given, to give without a second thought to our own vitality when a need arises, and then how to receive again when the opportunity arises for God to give us what is in His heart for us to have. Whether it is something tangible like money...or whether it is forgiveness and the ability to mend what has been broken.

I woke up this morning. And those words began to run through my head again...the ones about how I wasn't good enough, how I hadn't done enough, how I had been misunderstood, how I longed for everything to be made right. And then I heard this song by Thad Cockrell and I was reminded...that even if I couldn't change my own circumstances...I could reach out to others in the midst of theirs. I may not have what I want right now, but I have everything I need in Jesus. I live a blessed life...a full life. There are so many right now, at this moment, who don't have any kind of hope. One day, everything will be made right. And even if I don't see it with my eyes right now...I'll keep spreading that message...with my Love.

Friday, July 9

Redefining Never

On my way to eat sushi a couple of nights ago, I remembered the very first time I came across this delicious genre of food. I was walking with friends through Queens on a hot summer night. We passed by a restaurant with a store front window...and there it was...sushi. I imagined how awful it must taste, how terrible its consistency would be, and right then and there I swore I would never try sushi. Fast forward four years to a friends' kitchen in Tulsa, Oklahoma. They were big fans of creating dinners from the Food Network. They were also big fans of sushi. I came to a moment where I had no choice but to give it a try, and from that day forward, sushi became one of my favorite meals.

This memory got me to thinking about all the "nevers" I have swore to.
*I would never move to Rochester.
*I would never wear capris.
*I would never ride in the front seat of a roller coaster.
*I would never ride a sky coaster and free fall through the sky.
*I would never want to be her friend.
*I would never live in Florida.
*I would never hurt anyone with my words.
*I would never leave him.
*I would never be confident enough to sing my own songs on a stage.
*I would never do THAT again.
*I would never give up.

But I have done all of these things. And so many other things (good and bad) I thought I would never do.

I began to think about the idea of "never". Using that word was often like using a mask to cover up fears; fears of the unknown, fears of being found out, fears of finding out that there was something better than what I was holding onto, fears of change. Sometimes, it was a denial of what was really going on, a denial of my need for healing and trust. Sometimes, "never" was a hope that things would change.

There are absolute truths that should be held onto in this world. There is beauty in standing up for what is right. There is peace that comes from constancy and loyalty. I am thankful for those nevers.

But then there are those nevers that awkwardly stand out and call attention to themselves. These are the ones that call us to change. They might also be the most painful to admit to. But without change, life becomes a stagnant pool of water. Without change growth does not occur. We cannot be refreshed, and we certainly cannot refresh others.

I sat with a dear friend this week. She told a story that spanned several years and very much reflected my own; so much so that I teared up several times throughout its telling. And because of her story, I felt that my own story was much more understood. I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel so lost. She had faced so many "nevers" in several different ways, but because she had allowed herself to be changed by God's love, her "nevers" dissolved into a beautiful love story.

I wonder what would happen if we surrendered our "nevers" to the love of God. I wonder what would happen if we let love define our choices; instead of our preconceived notions, our prior experiences, the opinions of others, and the untested doctrines we have chosen. What would happen if we accepted the fact that change is really okay?

We don't have to be the same person we were yesterday. We don't have to be defined by our past. And if our excuse for falling short becomes, "Well, that's just who I am", then we have forgotten love...for ourselves, for others, maybe even for God. We have chosen the word never and denied any hope for what could be.

If my life had stopped at never...I can't imagine how it would look...
*I wouldn't have known the joy of the people who live in Rochester. I wouldn't have a home here. I wouldn't have such a rich history of God's love and work in this city.
*I wouldn't be going on my 8th annual trip to California to visit a friend who intimidated me before I really knew how amazing she was.
*I wouldn't have made so many amazing friends, touched so many little lives, been so refreshed and healed, been so inspired to keep writing music, traveled to so many different places, or have been close to my family...because of living in Florida.
*I wouldn't have had the chance to move to Nashville.
*I wouldn't have been so heartbroken over my own faults and then so aware of the hurt in others...if it wasn't for walking through relationships...and learning how to love well.

This list could go on and on.

Life without change, is not life at all.

God meant for us to be changed. He meant for our lives to grow brighter and brighter. The Bible says that His mercies are new every morning. So many times God says that He is doing a NEW thing. In Revelation 21:5 says that He is making "all things new". Maybe the first step towards walking in His newness...is to look at our own "nevers" and ask Him which ones need to be changed.

I posted a picture of water running through my hands. That stream was so refreshing to us girls that day. It brought so much enjoyment and laughter during our time there. It was beautiful! As I was holding the water I was thinking of the things in my life and how there was very little that I could hold onto. But that was the beauty of the stream. And that is the beauty of life. Things will never be the same. The rocks, the water, the banks, the sediment are constantly in a state of change. But the flow of the water is constant, as is the constancy of God's love for us and the promises that He has made. His rivers of living water will continue to flow...as long as we allow them to...and along with them will come the cleansing, the refreshing, the changing, and the healing He wants to bring.

Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.
2 Corinthians 3:16-18

Tuesday, July 6

Thoughts of Home

There is a quietness. I've heard it on the road, in the car, no music playing. As I sit among tall blades of grass and the cool winds blow over me and through the trees. In the way that love has overcome and made a home in the hearts of my very dear friends.

As strongly as tears of grief have made their way into my days...so has a peace...as if it's the only way to move forward. To become quiet. To trust. That all will be well. Just as it was meant to be.

I'm remembering who I am. And I am wondering why I have fought so hard, traveled so far, looked for so long...if home was always this lovely and welcoming and good. Why did I feel the need to leave? And why do I long to return? Can I ever return?

Home has invited me to sit by the fire and tell my story. It has kissed my cheeks and held me close. It has wiped my tears and held my hands. Home has given me a place to rest my head. It has walked down familiar streets and whispered cherished memories I had forgotten. It has told me stories of when I was young. It has reminded me of what I love and of who I love. Home has given me hope for the future. It has breathed life on the dreams that I hold in my heart.

I have tried to breathe in every bit of nature I can this week. I grew up loving the land and the water...I still do. It was so good to have friends to share the beauty of the outdoors with this past week.

I have tried to soak in every moment with friends. Good friends. Friends that span a history of time and distance. They make me laugh out loud. They bring beauty to the world. They dream. They listen and encourage. Their stories are full of ups and downs, tragedy and hope, conflict and peace, adventure and every day simple living. I love them with all my heart. I love God for giving them to me.

There is so much more to say. Healing takes time. But for those of us who are alive...it is inevitable. We must heal so that we can continue to live. For the past three months, over and over again I've heard people say to me, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." Living...that what I choose...I want to live, and I want to live well. None of this in between stuff...teetering between what if's and somedays. It is time to heal. To begin again. To become alive. "No regrets." That's another one. I hear it everywhere. It's time to love better. To embrace what and who we have been given. To find the place we are called to. To know the God who has called us.

We don't have to know everything. We don't have to have every detail of the future in place. But if we know God is good...then we will know our future is secure. We'd be able to slow down...to enjoy Him...to enjoy each other...to stop being afraid and let the healing begin.



his chest is full of memories
of gold and silver tears
i’ll give you more to own than all of this
and i’ll give you more than years
for you were once a child of innocence
and i see you just the same
your burdens couldnt win or lose a thing
oh i’d tell you once again
but you’re always on the run

slow your breath down
just take it slow
find your heart now, oh
you can trust in love again
slow your breath down
just take it slow
find your smile now, oh
you can trust in love again

if you leave, i’ll still be close to you
when all your fears rain down
i’ll take you back a thousand times again
and i’ll take you as my own
i will sing you songs of innocence
till the light of morning comes
till the rays of golden honey cover you
in the sweetness of the dawn
but you’re always on the run

slow your breath down
just take it slow
find your heart now oh
you can trust in love again
slow your breath down
just take it slow
find your smile now oh
you can trust in love again

you’re not alone
you’re now a part of me
you feel the cure
i feel the toil it brought you

Friday, June 25

How Free Are We Really?


Jesus was a promiser of freedom.
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)

So, what does this really mean? If you become a Christian are you truly free? If you believe in God is your life full of freedom? What does freedom look like, feel like, sound like?

"Well, I am free to be who I am"..some would say. "I am free to go where I want to go, buy what I want to buy, love who I want to love"...and the list would go on. But is that freedom? Does a person who has the world at their fingertips have freedom? Take Bill Gates for example...He is free to have anything he wants at any time because the power of financial freedom lies in his hands. Does that mean he is free? Dave Ramsey promises freedom to those who become debt free. Oprah and other daytime hosts tell their viewers that freedom is within reach if only they would walk through rehab and counseling and choose strength over their weaknesses.

Not that counseling or rehab or anything like that is wrong...it's actually really good. But my question is this...how many people have gone through a program...and followed some rules...and have willed themselves into submission...only to find themselves bound up again and worse off than when they began? How many are crying out in despair as their eyes open to a new morning?

Not one of us can say that our life is perfect. Not one of us can say that we have not been affected by sin or have been a partaker in it. Sin keeps us from freedom.

Do you see it? Anger. Judgment. Hatred. Lust for more. Lust for what does not belong to you. Jealousy. Pride. Destroying others with our words. Selfishness. Greed. Unforgiveness. Unfaithfulness. Misuse of people. Dishonesty. The list goes on...

Everything that is the opposite of these:
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

The church leaders Jesus talked to didn't see their sin. They told Jesus there was no reason for Him to set them free. They were angry that anyone would tell them they were in sin.

How many of us think that we are okay? How many of us would be indignant if someone told us that we needed to be set free? How many of us blame others for taking our freedoms away?

We are all for saying, "God is love". Why shouldn't God accept us as we are? Why shouldn't He love us despite our brokenness? And He does.

But He wants to go a step further. He wants us to be free (at peace, full of joy, loving others, content).

Has fear gripped you in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm, in the middle of a relationship that was falling apart?
Have you been drawn to a substance or activity for comfort, only to find that now it will not let you go?
Has your anger pushed everything you love away?
Are you too ashamed to tell the truth?
Are you too proud to repair what has been broken?
Are you so afraid that if you let go everyone and everything else will fall apart?
Have you denied your need for God, by taking things into your own hands?
Then you are not free.

Many of our mainstream churches have a way of lulling its members into a comfort zone. And the more I see, the more I am convinced that things are not as they should be. There are good churches out there, please don't get me wrong. People with good hearts, loving their communities. But the people come in broken. And they leave broken. Questions unanswered. Lives still falling apart. Hoping that God will someday come through. Watching their loved ones walk away. Watching their children spiral downward. Weighed down by depression, addiction, anger. Afraid that at any moment life will spin out of control and they will lose everything that is precious...not realizing that their grip of control is squeezing the life out of everything precious. There has to be more...Jesus came to bring life...not survival tips.

In the early church days, before people even entered church life there was a beautiful process that took place. They came to acknowledge Christ as the one they would choose to follow. Then, they prayed prayers to be freed from every sin and stronghold from their past (these were prayers of deliverance if you will). After their acknowledgment and freedom through prayer they would enter the water for baptism. As they entered the waters they believed that they were being washed of every sin and evil spirit that they had been tied to before and when they came up they were filled with the new Holy Spirit of God. I heard this the other day...it opened my eyes to the beauty of baptism in a way I hadn't seen before. I wonder how many Christians even know that there is a true freedom for them in Christ.

God's will was to heal people. God's will was to set people free. That's what Jesus did...he healed and he delivered. He was doing His father's will..that's what he said.

And yet people continually say that healing and deliverance and the gifts of the Holy Spirit were only for the apostles in the early church. Ugh.

That's what my grandfather believed as a young Christian, as a seminary student, as a Baptist preacher with a good sized church. Until he was bedridden for a year and couldn't even write his own name because of all the tranquilizers he was on. My grandmother was watching a television preacher one day who talked about healing...and wondered if that could be helpful to my grandpa who was so mentally and physically ill. My grandfather told her she shouldn't be watching that kind of thing...it was heresy! Not too long after that...he heard this preacher was in town. He went forward and asked for prayer at the service. He was anointed with oil. And he was healed.

The story gets better. Grandpa was a Baptist and Baptists did not believe in healing. But he was healed. So, he decided that if he was wrong about healing he might also be wrong about the Holy Spirit. He began to study the scriptures once again. And as he studied he felt God speak to his heart and tell him that the root of the sickness he had had was still in him. Through some connections and conversations in the months after that, he met with a couple who believed that God still delivers people of demonic spirits. Of course, Grandpa said, "I'm a Baptist preacher! How could I have anything like that in me?" But he did. And when that couple prayed for him, several spirits of darkness left his body.

I know this sounds weird. I know it sounds off the wall. It's so weird and off the wall that Grandpa lost his whole congregation and was put on trial by them! But from that day forward, my grandfather was a new man. He filled his prescription bottles with anointing oil and began to pray for the sick. Several of his family members were healed from cancer. Grandma says that thousands of people in the area were healed, delivered, and brought into relationship with God over the span of his lifetime.

I have another friend who did not grow up believing in healing and deliverance either. She was from a very strong denomination as well. When she had finished seminary and started working in a local church, however, things began to change. She saw so many broken people. They would pray and pray and pray. But addictions would not go away, divorces were still occurring, and at one point because someone was so tired of waiting for healing to come they committed suicide. This was the turning point for the staff at this church. They decided that there must be more. They began to study what healing and deliverance ministry was all about. And once they knew...there was no looking back. People began to be set free.

My grandmother recently told me that for 40 years she never once heard my grandfather tell her that he loved her. I couldn't believe it. But it was true she said. She told me that it had had a lot to do with pain he had carried from his relationship with his mom when he was young. So for 40 years Grandma knew Grandpa loved her but she never heard it. Until one day when Grandpa went to a Bible study where they were praying for inner healing. That day the group prayed for him to be healed from the hurts of his childhood. And from that day forward he couldn't stop telling Gram how much he loved her. Gram says it was the most beautiful, joyful thing...he would just go on and on about his love for her. He had just needed healing.

If there is anything that these past few years has taught me it is this...that there is a broken world in need of Jesus...and that I want to be a part of what Jesus is doing. I wish I had words right now to explain my own brokenness and my frustration at my inability to change anything. I know I am not the only one who has lost something, or failed. I am so dependent on God.

I haven't forgotten that Jesus heals and delivers. I just haven't set my face towards Him. I've been so busy defending that I haven't taken the time to walk in it. And that's ok...it was part of the process of getting me here I think.

I'm still praying for freedom. For me. For the ones I hold so closely to my heart.

It's fear that keeps us from trusting the One who would free us. That's all it is....fear. If only we would come. If only we would set our face upon Him and run towards Him and fall at His feet. If only we would whisper..."Jesus come". He would heal everything...He would set things right.

What is it that seems to be taking your joy and your peace today? What is it that holds you back from loving well? What is trying your patience? What battle is raging and pulling you out of control? Perhaps this is where your healing must begin. Perhaps this is the place where God's spirit must enter.

Tuesday, June 8

Two Simple Words

It happens to us all I think. We start with great aspirations for making life better. It could be going after our dream job. It could be taking the step of marriage and starting a family. It could be taking a class on photography. It could be organizing the garage. Or starting to go to church again. Or volunteering somewhere in the community. Or changing your hair color. It could be going to that country you have always dreamed of seeing. But the follow through...well, it is either non-existent or it is a long time coming.

Not that patience doesn't have its work mind you. Sometimes waiting is good. But often, we continue to say...

"One of these days..."

"When [__], then I will [___]"

Those beautiful dreams and very exciting, even attainable goals become a part of our every day conversation. It's what we tell people when we are networking and making connections. It's what we write down in online profiles. It's what we tell ourselves as we sit at the computer screen and dream of what could be. Eventually, we become defined by what we want to do, and not by what we are actually doing in the moment.

Not everyone is like this mind you. There are those who are following their dreams. Those who are actually making good on their words. They know what they want and they are taking steps to get there. My guess is, that you and I have met a few of these types of people. They are most likely the happiest, most peaceful people you will ever meet. Is their life easy? Probably not. My guess is that they have to work hard too. My guess is that setbacks have also come their way. The difference between us and them? Choice.

I have realized that in my own life I have been leaving my choices up to others. Sigh. Whatever is comfortable for everyone. Whatever keeps the peace. Whatever keeps me out of hot water. Whatever makes people happy. And I thought that that was what I wanted! I want to love everyone. I want everyone to love me! I hate the thought of disappointing someone...especially someone I love. I've been saying "someday", and waiting around as if someday will magically appear. I've been allowing others to make the decisions. No decisions have been made. My world has been full of "somedays".

Until my little world unraveled, I didn't see any other way. Somehow, I had lost who I was in the midst of seeing who everyone else wanted to be.

Sure, there is a time to sacrifice and give up who we are for the sake of Christ. But there is also a time, to express the greatness of who God created us to be. That beauty should never be hidden away, forgotten, or belittled.

What if....

...you began to pay attention to your words?
...a pattern began to emerge?
...you began to see what you really wanted?
...that's what you were supposed to do all along?
...you stopped blaming others for holding you back?
...you did it?

We can only blame someone else for so long. It's not really their fault. We can only talk to the talk for a little while. Eventually, it becomes time to "Go big or go home"...as they like to say in certain parts of the country. Eventually, you have to start walking, start following through. No one else is going to make your decisions well. They might try...but as much as they love you, they will never know you well enough...not like God does. There is an imprint on our hearts, that only He can breathe life into. PS- Thank Him for the friends and family who do realize this and love you and support you for who you are. They're the keepers.

Donald Miller states that characters in a story don't want to change. They have to be forced. They need what he calls an "inciting incident". For a story to go from okay...to good...to great...there must be a force for change.

Life becomes LIFE when we begin to say yes...to that thing deep inside...that voice that calls us out and reminds us of who we are. When we begin to say no to the chains of the past, the fears of the future, the expectations of the present. When we create inciting incidents for ourselves so that we cannot go back on our word. When we begin to say, "YES", to our hearts true desires....we are beginning to say yes to God. The voice way down deep inside is the mark of the One who created the whole universe, who created us. He knows who we are. He longs to give us LIFE and life abundantly. Because He is life and He wants us to know Him as much as He knows us.

Saying "YES" could be the most freeing word we ever speak. (Aside from saying yes to things that would hurt us or cause significant detriment to another. Saying "NO" at the right time could be the second most freeing word.) I have a friend who says that "yes" is her new answer to every invitation (with respect to above disclaimer). Joy begins to creep back in. And because life becomes more tangible and less idealistic, peace has this way of surpassing the troubles that come along the way. God's voice becomes clearer, more recognizable. We know who we are and that in turn will allow us to help others become who they are. Our freedom will bring others freedom. Want to get others to live a God filled life? Go get one for yourself...and then see what a witness true freedom really brings.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:1-3

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:37