I've been standing on a mountaintop for a few weeks now...and I see my life.
How good it is to know that God has been there...orchestrating, loving, molding, shaping. I have been so afraid. I have been worried. And now I look back and see that I never had to worry at all. God is faithful to bring us through. I see that now. He is faithful to show us the truth...about Himself, about ourselves.
Like my good friend PJ said, I really have no words...I am just thankful.
Thankful for the family that I have grown up in. Thankful for the good memories. Thankful for the hard lessons. Thankful for the friendships I have been given. Thankful that I have remained single up to this point in my life. Thankful to be walking with God and seeing His plans unfold.
I am with my grandma and my great aunt and uncle this week. And although I am 27 years old I still feel like a kid being with them. Especially my uncle. I don't know the half of what he thinks about, but he is full of logic and conservative views. He was once in the Navy, so even now we have specific plans and times for each day. But my uncle, sees beauty...I want to listen to him every chance I get. I get excited about being around him to hear what he is going to say next. When he interupts a conversation or insists that we hurry along...it's only because there is something beautiful or amazing to see around the next corner. And his vocabulary is so fun to hear. Today before we even arrived at the restaurant for lunch, he made the plan for our entry and talked of how we needed to "capture" a table.
Thanks to him we have not missed a color in the sunset, an opportunity to see boats being constructed, eagles flying overhead or the way a rock has been formed by glaciers.
There is so much joy in watching God's creation. There is so much joy in stopping to admire the beauty of a sunset or the way rocks have washed up on a beach. It is here that I have been able to be still and know that He is God.
Friday, July 27
Wednesday, July 4
Divine Appointment
I'm in Honduras. I don't have a whole lot to say at the moment. One thing is for sure, this is a divine appointment in my life. I kept thinking as I was walking through the airport..."This is a new beginning." I am staying in a beautiful pink house, in an apartment I have all to myself. The pastors here took me to the store for groceries on the second day. Every morning I get up to spend time with children in the orphanage close by. I return in the afternoons to help the older kids with their homework and once even to teach them a Bible lesson. I feel at peace and so provided for. And I have been able to sit and listen to missionaries who are experienced on the field. I am learning so much, so much. I will write more soon.
Tuesday, June 12
No Matter What
How do we have hope when we do not understand? What do we believe, when what we believed does not come to pass. I've been asking God, asking Him for the truth.
He is answering. There is this deep question in me. It is very closely attached to my desire to be married. Because a majority of what I've thought about during my lifetime is the relationship I will share with someone someday, the days when I will start my own family, the places we will go, the life we will share. I've never doubted that it would happen...year after year...through broken hearts and disappointments...through friendships and beautiful moments. But in this past year especially, I have seen that it can be gone in a moment. I have seen that God could send someone, the biggest desire of my heart...and then he could disappear sooner that I would have wanted or imagined.
I'm here this week visiting with friends who are really more like family. And this thing has come upon them. They have lost their father, their husband...a man, a pastor in the prime of his life. And the thing is they prayed for healing, they prayed for a different answer. But he went home anyways.
So what do we believe? And how do we move forward? I know God has a plan. I know He will work all things together for good. So many testimonies have come out of this time...salvations even. I know God has been and will continue to strengthen this family. I know they will rise from the ashes of this time.
I am learning to live my life with open hands. Allowing God to weave His story. Letting go even when I do not think it should be time. Holding on to Jesus, the only security, the only safe place in this world. Everything will change. We will say goodbye. We will turn around and miss someone we love. But God is still good. He is still speaking. He is still moving us forward, bringing life with every breath. And we have to trust Him...that His plans are better, that His ways are higher...that He loves us more than we could ever know.
And someday we will understand. Someday we will find joy in the tears that He has collected. What a beautiful and mysterious journey we are all asked to take. I have always wanted to travel with a friend. But I am finding that the only friend who will stay from the beginning to the end is God Himself. And I want to know Him more. I want to stand secure in His love and say, "No matter what, I am with you."
He is answering. There is this deep question in me. It is very closely attached to my desire to be married. Because a majority of what I've thought about during my lifetime is the relationship I will share with someone someday, the days when I will start my own family, the places we will go, the life we will share. I've never doubted that it would happen...year after year...through broken hearts and disappointments...through friendships and beautiful moments. But in this past year especially, I have seen that it can be gone in a moment. I have seen that God could send someone, the biggest desire of my heart...and then he could disappear sooner that I would have wanted or imagined.
I'm here this week visiting with friends who are really more like family. And this thing has come upon them. They have lost their father, their husband...a man, a pastor in the prime of his life. And the thing is they prayed for healing, they prayed for a different answer. But he went home anyways.
So what do we believe? And how do we move forward? I know God has a plan. I know He will work all things together for good. So many testimonies have come out of this time...salvations even. I know God has been and will continue to strengthen this family. I know they will rise from the ashes of this time.
I am learning to live my life with open hands. Allowing God to weave His story. Letting go even when I do not think it should be time. Holding on to Jesus, the only security, the only safe place in this world. Everything will change. We will say goodbye. We will turn around and miss someone we love. But God is still good. He is still speaking. He is still moving us forward, bringing life with every breath. And we have to trust Him...that His plans are better, that His ways are higher...that He loves us more than we could ever know.
And someday we will understand. Someday we will find joy in the tears that He has collected. What a beautiful and mysterious journey we are all asked to take. I have always wanted to travel with a friend. But I am finding that the only friend who will stay from the beginning to the end is God Himself. And I want to know Him more. I want to stand secure in His love and say, "No matter what, I am with you."
Sunday, May 13
God Answers
"Faith is the substance of what we hope for, the evidence of things we do not see."
Hebrews 11:1
She asked me not to tell anyone about what's going on...so I won't tell her name...
I have had this friend for 11 years. When I first met her, we were in our junior year of high school, working together at a local Bob Evans. She was living alone, dating an abusive boyfriend, and had no relationship with her parents who had also been abusive throughout her childhood years. She had been through a number of homes and had run from the authorities on several occasions. This girl was a girl on the move and my heart went out to her. I told her that if she ever needed anything she could call.
I don't know how to explain the past 11 years in one short blog...I don't think it's possible. All I know, is that a girl who was once hardened by years of abuse and rejection, who once would have fought any person who stood in her way or misunderstood her, a girl who has been told that her body is fighting against her and has spent nights in the hospital room, a girl who has been cheated on and abused and still stands in the midst of all of these things....is at peace.
We talked yesterday for a little while...catching up on her latest move and what was happening. She shared about events that I had hoped she wouldn't have had to go through. She shared about more heartache and pain that I really felt possible to bear. She spoke of so many things....and in the midst of it all...she said, "I don't really worry about it anymore. I feel like that weight has been lifted from me." Could it be? I thought to myself....Could it be? I asked her why. I asked her...because the girl I knew so long ago...would not have spoken with so much peace. The girl I knew would not have said, "I know God will do what's best for me...and I will do whatever He tells me to do." I asked her if she was trusting the Lord...and she said, "yes".
Years of prayer...of long phone conversations...of reaching out and hoping...of seeing glimpses and the gradual softening of her heart, and then, all of a sudden, one day...the answer comes. My friend has put her life in God's hands. I didn't need to hear that she prayed the prayer...that she went forward to the altar. I heard the peace that pervaded her every word. She's not fighting anymore. She knows her life is in God's hands.
I am so humbled and in awe of this whole situation. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be a part of this amazing person's life. She is stronger than I am. God has given her much grace. I feel released today. I feel like I've been waiting so long for this news...I've been holding on...and today...I am more ready to move forward than I was yesterday. I'm ready too see what else He has in store.
Please pray for her as you read this. Pray that God strengthens her, and heals her and provides in a way that only He can do. Her name means, "wanted child"...please pray that she knows how much God loves and accepts her and welcomes her with open arms.
Hebrews 11:1
She asked me not to tell anyone about what's going on...so I won't tell her name...
I have had this friend for 11 years. When I first met her, we were in our junior year of high school, working together at a local Bob Evans. She was living alone, dating an abusive boyfriend, and had no relationship with her parents who had also been abusive throughout her childhood years. She had been through a number of homes and had run from the authorities on several occasions. This girl was a girl on the move and my heart went out to her. I told her that if she ever needed anything she could call.
I don't know how to explain the past 11 years in one short blog...I don't think it's possible. All I know, is that a girl who was once hardened by years of abuse and rejection, who once would have fought any person who stood in her way or misunderstood her, a girl who has been told that her body is fighting against her and has spent nights in the hospital room, a girl who has been cheated on and abused and still stands in the midst of all of these things....is at peace.
We talked yesterday for a little while...catching up on her latest move and what was happening. She shared about events that I had hoped she wouldn't have had to go through. She shared about more heartache and pain that I really felt possible to bear. She spoke of so many things....and in the midst of it all...she said, "I don't really worry about it anymore. I feel like that weight has been lifted from me." Could it be? I thought to myself....Could it be? I asked her why. I asked her...because the girl I knew so long ago...would not have spoken with so much peace. The girl I knew would not have said, "I know God will do what's best for me...and I will do whatever He tells me to do." I asked her if she was trusting the Lord...and she said, "yes".
Years of prayer...of long phone conversations...of reaching out and hoping...of seeing glimpses and the gradual softening of her heart, and then, all of a sudden, one day...the answer comes. My friend has put her life in God's hands. I didn't need to hear that she prayed the prayer...that she went forward to the altar. I heard the peace that pervaded her every word. She's not fighting anymore. She knows her life is in God's hands.
I am so humbled and in awe of this whole situation. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be a part of this amazing person's life. She is stronger than I am. God has given her much grace. I feel released today. I feel like I've been waiting so long for this news...I've been holding on...and today...I am more ready to move forward than I was yesterday. I'm ready too see what else He has in store.
Please pray for her as you read this. Pray that God strengthens her, and heals her and provides in a way that only He can do. Her name means, "wanted child"...please pray that she knows how much God loves and accepts her and welcomes her with open arms.
Monday, April 30
Long Day in the Delivery Room
Last night..look very closely and you can see the beginnings of the hatching.
Our first chick born this morning at 11:15am...name: "Chris"...we voted...other choices were Booker T. Washington, Jr. and Peep-Peep.
Second chick. No name yet. We were able to watch this one come fully out the shell as a class. It was a beautiful moment. As Daija said, "I am so happy for these chicks, Miss T.!"
With this cute little face...do you think we got anything done today? Umm...no. I couldn't even concentrate and I'm the teacher. :)
One second they're up...the next they're out cold. We're expecting 3 more by the morning.
Saturday, April 28
Seeing it Through
Again, tonight it happened...like so many moments before..the label. The one that puts me in the quiet box. I hate it. I have hated that label since I can remember. Of course, it could be the fact that many times I find myself the listener, the observer. It could be the fact that I am usually the newer one to the group. I have plenty of friends or family who know the difference...but they have known me for a lot longer. They know that there is a bundle of energy just waiting to happen.
No one has probably ever meant any harm with their statements, "Oh, you're always so quiet..so calm." I know what they mean. I'm not loud and in your face. I'm not the one who fights to take the spotlight. But that's not what I hear. What I hear is that I am not noticeable. What I hear is that I am easily overlooked, not as fun...and therefore, not as important.
And so there it is. Carrie and I talked about the lies we believe about ourselves the other night. And this is one of them. I believe that I am easily overlooked, not as important, not as beautiful or as noticeable as the rest. And whenever the "quiet" statement or something like it comes up...as much as I hate it and want to rage against the label...I am stuck...because if others are seeing it, it must be true right?
At the core of who we are...we want to be known. And in the midst of being known, we want to be accepted. It's no wonder we are hooked on Hollywood and reality television shows and internet dating sites. It's no wonder we are so concerned about our reputations, our fashion statements, our resumes and our success stories.
It's no wonder that I am so disappointed when I have been misunderstood or misinterpreted. It's no wonder I have felt entirely inadequate when comparing myself to those around me. My perspective has been all wrong.
The Bible states that we did not choose God, but that He chose us...this verse is full of acceptance. Scriptures also go on to say that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Which tells me that He knew who we were...He knew our darkness, our pain, our grief, our hopes and dreams. He knew it all and yet still wanted to be with us, still wanted to lay His life down for us.
So the truth is, I am accepted and loved and important. Now if only it would get through to my heart. Then I would know better when given a label...I would know that the label doesn't matter. I would remember that to know others and to be known by them takes patience and unconditional love.
We have to look beyond the surface. We have to see to the heart of people. We have to ask God for His eyes. Because Jesus never labeled anyone by their behavior. He saw their heart and He drew the real, authentic person out. I want to be that type of person. I want to be surrounded by people who strive to do the same. And more than anything in the world, I want to be that confident, fully alive person...the one who never gives a second thought to what others may or may not be seeing...the one who cares only about the thoughts of an unconditionally loving and merciful God.
No one has probably ever meant any harm with their statements, "Oh, you're always so quiet..so calm." I know what they mean. I'm not loud and in your face. I'm not the one who fights to take the spotlight. But that's not what I hear. What I hear is that I am not noticeable. What I hear is that I am easily overlooked, not as fun...and therefore, not as important.
And so there it is. Carrie and I talked about the lies we believe about ourselves the other night. And this is one of them. I believe that I am easily overlooked, not as important, not as beautiful or as noticeable as the rest. And whenever the "quiet" statement or something like it comes up...as much as I hate it and want to rage against the label...I am stuck...because if others are seeing it, it must be true right?
At the core of who we are...we want to be known. And in the midst of being known, we want to be accepted. It's no wonder we are hooked on Hollywood and reality television shows and internet dating sites. It's no wonder we are so concerned about our reputations, our fashion statements, our resumes and our success stories.
It's no wonder that I am so disappointed when I have been misunderstood or misinterpreted. It's no wonder I have felt entirely inadequate when comparing myself to those around me. My perspective has been all wrong.
The Bible states that we did not choose God, but that He chose us...this verse is full of acceptance. Scriptures also go on to say that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Which tells me that He knew who we were...He knew our darkness, our pain, our grief, our hopes and dreams. He knew it all and yet still wanted to be with us, still wanted to lay His life down for us.
So the truth is, I am accepted and loved and important. Now if only it would get through to my heart. Then I would know better when given a label...I would know that the label doesn't matter. I would remember that to know others and to be known by them takes patience and unconditional love.
We have to look beyond the surface. We have to see to the heart of people. We have to ask God for His eyes. Because Jesus never labeled anyone by their behavior. He saw their heart and He drew the real, authentic person out. I want to be that type of person. I want to be surrounded by people who strive to do the same. And more than anything in the world, I want to be that confident, fully alive person...the one who never gives a second thought to what others may or may not be seeing...the one who cares only about the thoughts of an unconditionally loving and merciful God.
Passing Days
3 more days...and our little classroom chicks will hatch.
30 more days...and my students will leave for the summer.
And with every single one of these days, I am overcome with the goodness of God...with our need for His healing...with our need for life beyone the here and now.
I am encouraged on every side...by friends and family and students and strangers. And still I find this struggle against known and unknown. A lot like the chick breaking out of her egg. No matter how much my students want to see them come out. No matter how hard each chick will be struggling to break their eggshell open...we cannot help. We must not open the egg. It's the struggle that strengthens that little chick. It's the process that allows its life in this world.
And I suppose I must remember this with my children. They are fragile...and often I feel that I have been so impatient by the end of the day. I see their frustration through the eyes of time management and standards. I want to push them through. And I can't. They must do it on their own. I can give them what they need... education, structure, a hug, a word of encouragement...but I cannot grow for them; I cannot open their shell.
I am continually reminded of the words of Mother Theresa..."In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." And as I think about this, I think about the fact that all of us want to be important. We all want to do something great, something noticable. But what if that is not what's important? What if the small, unnoticable acts of kindness and love are greater? I believe they are.
I was challenged with this question earlier this week: "Who's kingdom are you building?" Of course, I would want to say.."God's kingdom". But how many times have I said or done things to make myself more important, to make myself more loved, to make myself more well known? It breaks my heart really...to think about it. Because for so long...my faith has been about what makes my own life good.
And while walking with God will always bring unmeasurable goodness to our lives, there is so much more. What about knowing Christ? What about hearing Him speak into our daily lives? What about speaking to Him, as if He is our best friend in the world? Depending on Him as we would our own husband or wife, or mother or father, or sister or brother. What about sharing Him with those we love most in this world? What about sharing His love with a complete stranger?
When will we begin to reach out? When will we step out from behind our walls and begin to walk with this great God who saved our lives? When we do...they will be healed...these people around us who are so desperately hurting. When we do...we will find joy...apart from the American dream...apart from things and circumstances and yes, even other people. When we do...we will forgive and find forgiveness.
Back to the beginning. Who knows the number of our days? Only God. Tomorrow things will change...we will change. We will find new distractions and we will find opportunities to know Christ better. We will find closed doors and new opportunities. We will find open doors and long lost friends. We will look and see our days passing before us. The question is...How will you spend your days? He has set life and death before each one of us. He has set eternity in our hearts. So how will you live? And how will you show others to live? It's what I'm asking myself tonight.
30 more days...and my students will leave for the summer.
And with every single one of these days, I am overcome with the goodness of God...with our need for His healing...with our need for life beyone the here and now.
I am encouraged on every side...by friends and family and students and strangers. And still I find this struggle against known and unknown. A lot like the chick breaking out of her egg. No matter how much my students want to see them come out. No matter how hard each chick will be struggling to break their eggshell open...we cannot help. We must not open the egg. It's the struggle that strengthens that little chick. It's the process that allows its life in this world.
And I suppose I must remember this with my children. They are fragile...and often I feel that I have been so impatient by the end of the day. I see their frustration through the eyes of time management and standards. I want to push them through. And I can't. They must do it on their own. I can give them what they need... education, structure, a hug, a word of encouragement...but I cannot grow for them; I cannot open their shell.
I am continually reminded of the words of Mother Theresa..."In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." And as I think about this, I think about the fact that all of us want to be important. We all want to do something great, something noticable. But what if that is not what's important? What if the small, unnoticable acts of kindness and love are greater? I believe they are.
I was challenged with this question earlier this week: "Who's kingdom are you building?" Of course, I would want to say.."God's kingdom". But how many times have I said or done things to make myself more important, to make myself more loved, to make myself more well known? It breaks my heart really...to think about it. Because for so long...my faith has been about what makes my own life good.
And while walking with God will always bring unmeasurable goodness to our lives, there is so much more. What about knowing Christ? What about hearing Him speak into our daily lives? What about speaking to Him, as if He is our best friend in the world? Depending on Him as we would our own husband or wife, or mother or father, or sister or brother. What about sharing Him with those we love most in this world? What about sharing His love with a complete stranger?
When will we begin to reach out? When will we step out from behind our walls and begin to walk with this great God who saved our lives? When we do...they will be healed...these people around us who are so desperately hurting. When we do...we will find joy...apart from the American dream...apart from things and circumstances and yes, even other people. When we do...we will forgive and find forgiveness.
Back to the beginning. Who knows the number of our days? Only God. Tomorrow things will change...we will change. We will find new distractions and we will find opportunities to know Christ better. We will find closed doors and new opportunities. We will find open doors and long lost friends. We will look and see our days passing before us. The question is...How will you spend your days? He has set life and death before each one of us. He has set eternity in our hearts. So how will you live? And how will you show others to live? It's what I'm asking myself tonight.
Monday, April 2
Hot Topic
"Miss T., I found you a husband."
Even though we were standing in line in the hallway and my students were supposed to be standing without talking, I had to hear the rest of this one. So I asked this little guy..."Really, where did you see him?"
"At the store," he said. "He's a Marine. He was dressed in his uniform."
"Did you tell him that you had a teacher who needed a husband?" I asked.
"No, I didn't tell him."
"What did he look like?" I asked, hoping for some good information. :)
"Well, he was wearing a uniform."
"Was he taller than me?"
"No."
"Was he shorter than me?"
"No."
"What color were his eyes?"
"Blue."
"How are we going to meet?" I asked again.
"I don't know, but I found him for you."
I thanked my student for the good find, flattered that he would be looking out for me even on the weekends. :)
I never bring up the subject, but out of the blue, usually in the middle of math or some other tedious project.."Miss T., how you 27 and you ain't got a man?" These kids are on a mission this year. They have written books for me on how to find a husband. They have drawn pictures of my wedding day and dates I should go on, etc. When the single police officers walk the hallway they make sure to ask me loud enough if I like him or not. Some even claim to know what my husband's name will be. So if there are any Steve's or Jerome's out there...you might want to leave me a comment...lol.
Even though we were standing in line in the hallway and my students were supposed to be standing without talking, I had to hear the rest of this one. So I asked this little guy..."Really, where did you see him?"
"At the store," he said. "He's a Marine. He was dressed in his uniform."
"Did you tell him that you had a teacher who needed a husband?" I asked.
"No, I didn't tell him."
"What did he look like?" I asked, hoping for some good information. :)
"Well, he was wearing a uniform."
"Was he taller than me?"
"No."
"Was he shorter than me?"
"No."
"What color were his eyes?"
"Blue."
"How are we going to meet?" I asked again.
"I don't know, but I found him for you."
I thanked my student for the good find, flattered that he would be looking out for me even on the weekends. :)
I never bring up the subject, but out of the blue, usually in the middle of math or some other tedious project.."Miss T., how you 27 and you ain't got a man?" These kids are on a mission this year. They have written books for me on how to find a husband. They have drawn pictures of my wedding day and dates I should go on, etc. When the single police officers walk the hallway they make sure to ask me loud enough if I like him or not. Some even claim to know what my husband's name will be. So if there are any Steve's or Jerome's out there...you might want to leave me a comment...lol.
Sunday, April 1
It's Time
I spoke with a dear friend of mine this evening by phone. We haven't talked in about 8 months probably. I'm not even sure how to write down what I am thinking after our conversation together. She is working in a place where so many have poured out their lives for what they believe in. And even though we have known each other for quite some time and shared our hearts quite often, I felt so honored to speak with her tonight. Our words had to be censored, I slipped a couple of times and felt so bad about it! Until you are not allowed to say the name of God or speak openly about what He is doing, you do not realize what a privilege we have in America. I did not realize how often or how easily Christian words came out of my mouth. Even now, writing this blog I feel like I have to censor what I am saying.
As I spoke with her, I began to think about our times together in the past. I thought about the prayers we had prayed together...on city street curbs, on living room couches, in parks and backyards, in cars, in church, in college campuses. I thought about the dreams we had shared with each other, literal dreams that breathed the hand of God. I thought about our times of worship; times when God's spirit was so strong. Those days were seeds. We were in the beginning days of our journey. And now, although the seasons have changed and taken us in different directions...we walk with the same God, we are of one heart...that this world will be changed, overtaken by God's glory.
I feel so...grown up. This is for real. My friend is doing the work of the ministry we only dreamed about eight years ago. She must trust in the promises and protection of God every day. She must walk by faith. And she needs my prayers, my support...and the prayers of so many others.
We talked today at our missions meeting about the purpose of missions trips. We talked about going to battle and warring against the darkness and the oppression over people's lives. Soon, I too will be going into unknown territory. But today, in this very moment...I have a mission. I will walk into school tomorrow and there will be a battle to win for the Lord. I will be here at home praying for the people I love. I will be out in public, and someone will need prayer or a word from God.
As a kindergarten teacher, I set up "dramatic play" centers. They were centers where the students could go and "practice" grown up things....from playing post office, to playing house, to being a doctor, etc. I believe that there is a season for all of us to be involved in those centers; seasons to practice what we will one day eventually grow into. Tonight, I am impressed with the fact, that it's time to put away those centers. It's time to do the real thing. God give me the wisdom and the courage to know what you are calling me to.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ~1 Corinthians 13:11
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. ~Ephesians 4:14-16
As I spoke with her, I began to think about our times together in the past. I thought about the prayers we had prayed together...on city street curbs, on living room couches, in parks and backyards, in cars, in church, in college campuses. I thought about the dreams we had shared with each other, literal dreams that breathed the hand of God. I thought about our times of worship; times when God's spirit was so strong. Those days were seeds. We were in the beginning days of our journey. And now, although the seasons have changed and taken us in different directions...we walk with the same God, we are of one heart...that this world will be changed, overtaken by God's glory.
I feel so...grown up. This is for real. My friend is doing the work of the ministry we only dreamed about eight years ago. She must trust in the promises and protection of God every day. She must walk by faith. And she needs my prayers, my support...and the prayers of so many others.
We talked today at our missions meeting about the purpose of missions trips. We talked about going to battle and warring against the darkness and the oppression over people's lives. Soon, I too will be going into unknown territory. But today, in this very moment...I have a mission. I will walk into school tomorrow and there will be a battle to win for the Lord. I will be here at home praying for the people I love. I will be out in public, and someone will need prayer or a word from God.
As a kindergarten teacher, I set up "dramatic play" centers. They were centers where the students could go and "practice" grown up things....from playing post office, to playing house, to being a doctor, etc. I believe that there is a season for all of us to be involved in those centers; seasons to practice what we will one day eventually grow into. Tonight, I am impressed with the fact, that it's time to put away those centers. It's time to do the real thing. God give me the wisdom and the courage to know what you are calling me to.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ~1 Corinthians 13:11
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. ~Ephesians 4:14-16
Friday, March 30
Garage Band
So, check it out. A couple of years ago I heard about a worship event taking place in Berlin, Germany. People all over the world were planning on attending. And since I had been at One Day and experienced the amazing time of worship and fellowship there, I knew that this worldwide event would be just as amazing. I definitely thought about going, but did not have the chance. However, I did sign up for the newsletter that came from the coordinator of the event. I have been receiving this newsletter for probably about two years.
This past week, I saw that this coordinator and worship leader was going to be in Jacksonville. I researched and found that he was actually going to be at the very church that I attend. On top of that, I found out that he was going to be sharing with worship leaders on Thursday night. And even though I do not lead at a specific church, I asked if I could attend.
To make a long story short, God has answered more of my prayers this week. I have been wanting so much to be able to grow in the area of worship. Not only in musical skills and knowledge of songs and what not, but also I have just wanted to be around other musicians who love to worship the Lord....not worshipping the worship, not worshipping the song leader...but the Lord...first and formost. I have been longing for that place. And tonight I walked into this very type of place.
Twelve or so of us sat in a good sized garage, each with an instrument or microphone and we worshipped. Sometimes loud and sometimes silent. Sometimes with voice and sometimes with only instruments. I would have chosen this garage over a million stages worldwide. It was the intimacy...the non-show if you will. It was our hearts poured out as we shared fellowship with the Lord.
Rochester, do you remember when we sat in garages and parks and in front of church buildings on clear summer nights? Do you remember when the presence of the Lord visited our small group of friends? I remembered tonight. I remembered how worship had become our favorite activity when we came together. I remembered being changed and losing my taste for anything else but the real deal.
Tonight, I walked into this place...greeted by divine appointment. I now have a place to go and record my new songs. I now know others who are pouring their own hearts out in worship, others who I can hopefully learn from and grow with. God has given me a place.
Noel Richards shared his heart with us tonight about worshipping the Lord together. He said many things that stuck out to me and convicted my heart. First, "worship without mission is self-indulgent. mission without worship is self-destructive." Second, "it is not about the performance. it is about our relationship with Christ." Third, Noel himself quite a few years ago got together with a few musicians. They all said, "let's just worship together and see what God does." And so Noel, Matt Redman and Martin Smith and a few others gathered together and began to worship....out of those beginning days...came the songs we sing today. They began in a place...much like the place we were tonight.
I don't know what to say on nights like this. I am amazed at how God can use newsletters and random (so we think) encounters to connect us to people and places and opportunities that just yesterday seemed so far away. He gives me reason to believe that there IS a future and a hope. And I am humbled. Because I do not want to forget God in all of this. I do not want to forget that it is Him whom I worship. He is the reason for the song in my heart. Whether I worship in my room, or in a garage, or on a stage in front of many people...I want my heart to remain the same, constant and loyal to the only ONE I have come to worship.
This past week, I saw that this coordinator and worship leader was going to be in Jacksonville. I researched and found that he was actually going to be at the very church that I attend. On top of that, I found out that he was going to be sharing with worship leaders on Thursday night. And even though I do not lead at a specific church, I asked if I could attend.
To make a long story short, God has answered more of my prayers this week. I have been wanting so much to be able to grow in the area of worship. Not only in musical skills and knowledge of songs and what not, but also I have just wanted to be around other musicians who love to worship the Lord....not worshipping the worship, not worshipping the song leader...but the Lord...first and formost. I have been longing for that place. And tonight I walked into this very type of place.
Twelve or so of us sat in a good sized garage, each with an instrument or microphone and we worshipped. Sometimes loud and sometimes silent. Sometimes with voice and sometimes with only instruments. I would have chosen this garage over a million stages worldwide. It was the intimacy...the non-show if you will. It was our hearts poured out as we shared fellowship with the Lord.
Rochester, do you remember when we sat in garages and parks and in front of church buildings on clear summer nights? Do you remember when the presence of the Lord visited our small group of friends? I remembered tonight. I remembered how worship had become our favorite activity when we came together. I remembered being changed and losing my taste for anything else but the real deal.
Tonight, I walked into this place...greeted by divine appointment. I now have a place to go and record my new songs. I now know others who are pouring their own hearts out in worship, others who I can hopefully learn from and grow with. God has given me a place.
Noel Richards shared his heart with us tonight about worshipping the Lord together. He said many things that stuck out to me and convicted my heart. First, "worship without mission is self-indulgent. mission without worship is self-destructive." Second, "it is not about the performance. it is about our relationship with Christ." Third, Noel himself quite a few years ago got together with a few musicians. They all said, "let's just worship together and see what God does." And so Noel, Matt Redman and Martin Smith and a few others gathered together and began to worship....out of those beginning days...came the songs we sing today. They began in a place...much like the place we were tonight.
I don't know what to say on nights like this. I am amazed at how God can use newsletters and random (so we think) encounters to connect us to people and places and opportunities that just yesterday seemed so far away. He gives me reason to believe that there IS a future and a hope. And I am humbled. Because I do not want to forget God in all of this. I do not want to forget that it is Him whom I worship. He is the reason for the song in my heart. Whether I worship in my room, or in a garage, or on a stage in front of many people...I want my heart to remain the same, constant and loyal to the only ONE I have come to worship.
Wednesday, March 28
Worth Your While
So, if you have 30 minutes, sit down and watch this worthwhile video. It's about a Muslim man who comes to Christ.
Thursday, March 22
10 Years
Today I felt that overwhelming emotion...you know, the one where God is so big and no matter what you do, you'll never be able to measure how far He has traveled or just where His influence has infiltrated your daily life.
I had lunch with a friend whom I had not seen in about 10 years. This friend and I have at least two things in common...our childhood homes and our high school. And I never knew him then. Back then, he was an acquaintance...someone I saw standing next to lockers in a hallway, sitting at a desk across the room, talking to other people I knew, maybe once in awhile having a short conversation. The point is, we probably talked more today than we ever have in our lives combined. I didn't know how caring he was. I didn't know that he had a relationship with the Lord. I didn't know a lot of things.
It's good to know that you can grow up and move far away and still be able to find people who knew you back then. It's good to have history. It's good to have friends with whom we share our history. It's good to connect 10 years later and see how far God has brought you and what He has done in your life.
I had lunch with a friend whom I had not seen in about 10 years. This friend and I have at least two things in common...our childhood homes and our high school. And I never knew him then. Back then, he was an acquaintance...someone I saw standing next to lockers in a hallway, sitting at a desk across the room, talking to other people I knew, maybe once in awhile having a short conversation. The point is, we probably talked more today than we ever have in our lives combined. I didn't know how caring he was. I didn't know that he had a relationship with the Lord. I didn't know a lot of things.
It's good to know that you can grow up and move far away and still be able to find people who knew you back then. It's good to have history. It's good to have friends with whom we share our history. It's good to connect 10 years later and see how far God has brought you and what He has done in your life.
Tuesday, March 20
Drive By
So I was driving across the Buckman Bridge tonight, listening to the radio. As I looked to my left a man was driving by...younger, good looking and at a glance the spitting image of one of my best friends from the early college days. The car was green, a two-door Honda accord with NY plates. My best friend's car had been a black, four-door Honda also with NY plates...close enough. And even though I hadn't thought about missing him in quite some time, tears came pouring out of my eyes. Out of nowhere, this great void opened up inside of my heart and it was like missing him for the first time. He had been the one I came home to over college breaks, scolding me if I did not call right away. I had seen him off on his first big missions' trip. He had been there the first time I ever gave a sermon in front of church, and he was the first one to hug me afterwards. He saw my insecurities and some of my failures. We both had disappointments. We ministered together for about 2 years. We played together on swings and camping trips and wherever else the opportunity came up. We prayed together. We talked about our futures and our dreams. I loved him very much.
But like I said in a recent blog, things change. And time changed our friendship. He fell in love with a beautiful girl and got married. I saw him on his wedding day. I saw him and I had to let go. I knew that I would probably not hear from him again for a very long time.
I had one friend who tried to convince me to tell him how I felt. Call it pride...call it wisdom...call it divine intervention...I still don't know what it was. I never told him. I never asked him to consider my heart before he gave his away to someone else. No, I don't regret it; I still wonder what would have happened. But even now, looking back...I know that all is as it should be.
It's just that tonight, when I saw that car...I was hit by surprise. I was hit by this immense loss that could never be returned again. I will never have that friendship again. I will never have this person back in my life. I will only have the memories. And so, it is much like a death. I didn't realize that this grief could still surface. Because in a very healthy way I had let go a long time ago. That is what I had had to do. Hanging on would never have changed the situation. His heart belonged to someone else and never to me. We both had different destinies to fulfill.
This is a very random blog tonight. I am still asking God what all of this means.
But like I said in a recent blog, things change. And time changed our friendship. He fell in love with a beautiful girl and got married. I saw him on his wedding day. I saw him and I had to let go. I knew that I would probably not hear from him again for a very long time.
I had one friend who tried to convince me to tell him how I felt. Call it pride...call it wisdom...call it divine intervention...I still don't know what it was. I never told him. I never asked him to consider my heart before he gave his away to someone else. No, I don't regret it; I still wonder what would have happened. But even now, looking back...I know that all is as it should be.
It's just that tonight, when I saw that car...I was hit by surprise. I was hit by this immense loss that could never be returned again. I will never have that friendship again. I will never have this person back in my life. I will only have the memories. And so, it is much like a death. I didn't realize that this grief could still surface. Because in a very healthy way I had let go a long time ago. That is what I had had to do. Hanging on would never have changed the situation. His heart belonged to someone else and never to me. We both had different destinies to fulfill.
This is a very random blog tonight. I am still asking God what all of this means.
Sunday, March 18
Things Change
So, I love living in Florida. (Never thought I'd say that, but I do.) I haven't loved living anywhere for awhile, haven't felt like I wanted to settle down. But I can see myself here, in Jacksonville, settling down. My whole life, it has been one of my greatest desires to stay somewhere, to plant some roots. I have assumed that this would be the place and rightly so...my parents are here. I am done with college. I have a "secure" job. I love my church. I love the friends that God has given me here. I love the beach and how close I am to Orlando, Atlanta, Savannah, and the list goes on.
There is this very small, and I mean small, place in my heart that begs the question...will you ever return to NY? And when I hear it, I think NO I love it here, this is where I belong. Please do not be offended NY...I love you, I long to be there, I hate to leave when I am with you. It's just that I am not quite ready yet to contemplate this question. Seriously, the NY question is a blog in itself. Then there is this other place that suggests there are many other places in the world I still need to see. I dream of going to nations...literally dream. People speak words to me and pray prayers over me about going to the nations. I do not know what it will look like. I do not know what it all means. I just know that there is more than this city on the East Coast.
There is music inside of me. There are words yet unwritten, pages yet unturned. And I thought it would be here that my life would all make sense. It doesn't yet. And maybe it will soon. But all of a sudden as I come upon the 2nd year of my residence in the sunshine state, I am hit with the fact that this is not permanent. Even my friend Kate said to me tonight, "nope you won't stay here". How does she know?
But nothing is permanent. Things change. People move on. I have been humbled by that very realization this week. I couldn't buy the house I wanted. I found out that a couple friends of mine are moving. I have other friends leaving for military duty. My brother left for Iraq today. Other friends are getting married. A few are changing and moving in different directions and I don't see them very much anymore.
So either I can sit here and be disappointed and allow myself to feel displaced or I can move on as well. I can grab ahold of God and say, "What's next? Where do we go from here?" It's what I have done all my life. I have never stayed in one place for too long. I have never been able to set my roots in a community, or a group of people, or a piece of land for more than a season or two. My roots have become planted in the Lord. I go where He goes. It has never been easy, never. But the outcome has always been worth whatever pain it took to move on to the next place.
So all this to say, I am choosing to let go of my fears for what will happen tomorrow and to love what God has given me now. I am choosing to reach out and live and love and laugh as much as I can in this season. Because who knows when it will end? Who knows when the seasons will change and when these opportunities will come to an end? Who knows what will come next? God give us all grace to know when to let go and how to hold on to You.
There is this very small, and I mean small, place in my heart that begs the question...will you ever return to NY? And when I hear it, I think NO I love it here, this is where I belong. Please do not be offended NY...I love you, I long to be there, I hate to leave when I am with you. It's just that I am not quite ready yet to contemplate this question. Seriously, the NY question is a blog in itself. Then there is this other place that suggests there are many other places in the world I still need to see. I dream of going to nations...literally dream. People speak words to me and pray prayers over me about going to the nations. I do not know what it will look like. I do not know what it all means. I just know that there is more than this city on the East Coast.
There is music inside of me. There are words yet unwritten, pages yet unturned. And I thought it would be here that my life would all make sense. It doesn't yet. And maybe it will soon. But all of a sudden as I come upon the 2nd year of my residence in the sunshine state, I am hit with the fact that this is not permanent. Even my friend Kate said to me tonight, "nope you won't stay here". How does she know?
But nothing is permanent. Things change. People move on. I have been humbled by that very realization this week. I couldn't buy the house I wanted. I found out that a couple friends of mine are moving. I have other friends leaving for military duty. My brother left for Iraq today. Other friends are getting married. A few are changing and moving in different directions and I don't see them very much anymore.
So either I can sit here and be disappointed and allow myself to feel displaced or I can move on as well. I can grab ahold of God and say, "What's next? Where do we go from here?" It's what I have done all my life. I have never stayed in one place for too long. I have never been able to set my roots in a community, or a group of people, or a piece of land for more than a season or two. My roots have become planted in the Lord. I go where He goes. It has never been easy, never. But the outcome has always been worth whatever pain it took to move on to the next place.
So all this to say, I am choosing to let go of my fears for what will happen tomorrow and to love what God has given me now. I am choosing to reach out and live and love and laugh as much as I can in this season. Because who knows when it will end? Who knows when the seasons will change and when these opportunities will come to an end? Who knows what will come next? God give us all grace to know when to let go and how to hold on to You.
Saturday, March 17
A Drink of Water
I sat and listened to two random stories tonight. One was the story of a friend who has feelings for someone she knows she should not have feelings for. The other was of a new acquaintance who sat and waited by the phone for a call that never came and who I think was on beer number seven as I left to go home.
As I listed to both stories, I thought of myself. Pure and simple. I thought about how the situations affected me. I contemplated the times when I sat in the very same seat they were sitting in. I knew exactly how they felt. But all I could offer was a nodding of the head and words like "I feel you on that one; I know exactly what you mean; you deserve better, etc."
Joyce Meyer said the other day, we cannot give others what we do not have ourselves. Simply put, I can't give you a glass of water, no matter how thirsty you are, if I do not have a glass of water in my possession. Tonight, I didn't have my glass of water. I had theories. I had empathy. I had experience. I had every good intention of listening and giving some sort of good advice.
All I could think of was Proverbs 19:22 - What a man desires is unfailing love, better to be poor than a liar. This verse is speaking volumes to me about compromise and about waiting on God. It reminds me of the woman at the well, who said to Jesus...Why are you asking me for water? (which in parable form = unfailing love) And Jesus answered back "If you knew who I was you would be asking me for the water (the unfailing love that will cause you to never thirst again). Here was this woman...broken, disappointed, ashamed, tired...and Jesus said to her...give me your love. She couldn't (and He knew it)...she didn't know how to recognize love...she didn't have it left in her. She had traded the real deal for other loves a long time ago, for other treasures...treasures that never measured up, that never filled the void she felt so deep inside.
I wanted to be like Jesus tonight. But I didn't have answers. Sometimes, I still feel like that woman...so past the point of dreaming, but so hopeful that someday a savior would come to show me what unfailing love truly is. Sometimes, I want to be better now, to be confident now, to be hopeful now....so that I can pass it on. Is it okay to still not have the answers? Is it okay to still be in the midst of working it out? Is it okay not to fully understand yet?
I want to understand. I want to know why things work out the way that they do, why people hurt each other and walk away from each other. I want to know why plans are thwarted even after seeking the Lord and believing for the best. I want to have understanding. I want these things, because I want to be able to walk with hope and to give hope to others when they are hurting. I want to be able to trust the Lord more than I do today. I want to be able to speak life, because life has been spoken to me.
As I listed to both stories, I thought of myself. Pure and simple. I thought about how the situations affected me. I contemplated the times when I sat in the very same seat they were sitting in. I knew exactly how they felt. But all I could offer was a nodding of the head and words like "I feel you on that one; I know exactly what you mean; you deserve better, etc."
Joyce Meyer said the other day, we cannot give others what we do not have ourselves. Simply put, I can't give you a glass of water, no matter how thirsty you are, if I do not have a glass of water in my possession. Tonight, I didn't have my glass of water. I had theories. I had empathy. I had experience. I had every good intention of listening and giving some sort of good advice.
All I could think of was Proverbs 19:22 - What a man desires is unfailing love, better to be poor than a liar. This verse is speaking volumes to me about compromise and about waiting on God. It reminds me of the woman at the well, who said to Jesus...Why are you asking me for water? (which in parable form = unfailing love) And Jesus answered back "If you knew who I was you would be asking me for the water (the unfailing love that will cause you to never thirst again). Here was this woman...broken, disappointed, ashamed, tired...and Jesus said to her...give me your love. She couldn't (and He knew it)...she didn't know how to recognize love...she didn't have it left in her. She had traded the real deal for other loves a long time ago, for other treasures...treasures that never measured up, that never filled the void she felt so deep inside.
I wanted to be like Jesus tonight. But I didn't have answers. Sometimes, I still feel like that woman...so past the point of dreaming, but so hopeful that someday a savior would come to show me what unfailing love truly is. Sometimes, I want to be better now, to be confident now, to be hopeful now....so that I can pass it on. Is it okay to still not have the answers? Is it okay to still be in the midst of working it out? Is it okay not to fully understand yet?
I want to understand. I want to know why things work out the way that they do, why people hurt each other and walk away from each other. I want to know why plans are thwarted even after seeking the Lord and believing for the best. I want to have understanding. I want these things, because I want to be able to walk with hope and to give hope to others when they are hurting. I want to be able to trust the Lord more than I do today. I want to be able to speak life, because life has been spoken to me.
Friday, March 16
Relieved
January was the month I began to feel that I should step out in faith towards the things I thought were supposed to happen in my life. One of those things was buying a house. The other was going on a mission's trip. Plans for both seemed to be coming along fairly well. Until last weekend, when the condo (the one that had everything I wanted) became locked behind a door that I could not open. Talking with my realtor yesterday, she said to me.."I have never seen anything like this happen before." She talked with other realtors and they said, "We have never seen anything happen like this before." My realtor, who is a Christian, and I both agreed that it must have been the Lord who saved me from going through with the deal. Basically, I had prayed, God I'm moving forward and trusting that everything is in your hands....fill in the missing pieces and please don't let me make any mistakes that would be detrimental. I asked Him to swing the door wide open, or else shut it so that it could not be opened. I didn't expect the door to shut. But when it did....I felt...relieved. So it leaves me to thinking about this verse from Proverbs 19:
21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
His purpose must be greater than my plans for a house. Because now I don't feel like I am supposed to buy a house at all. I feel like I am supposed to stay where I am and continue doing the same things with my money that I was doing before. It is time for something new, but as to what that something is...I'm not sure I can grasp it yet.
21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
His purpose must be greater than my plans for a house. Because now I don't feel like I am supposed to buy a house at all. I feel like I am supposed to stay where I am and continue doing the same things with my money that I was doing before. It is time for something new, but as to what that something is...I'm not sure I can grasp it yet.
Sunday, March 11
Goodbye Swish
I came home to find my fish tank covered with a towel and the filter unplugged. I knew right away that my dear little goldfish had passed on. I stood staring at her for quite awhile...hoping to see her big black eyes dart back and forth, hoping to see her gills opening for air. And truthfully, I wanted to see her breathe so much that I thought I did actually see it happen once or twice. Tapping on the glass did not help. So I turned the kitchen light off and headed for bed.
I've known for a couple of days that this was coming. She's been struggling to swim, laying at the bottom, hardly able to eat. I've been praying for her, singing to her (she loves singing), telling her how much I love her. She has had some health issues in the past, and usually when I pray she gets better. Her spots disappear, her energy increases. But this time was different. She was just about to turn 5 years old.
Her original name was Destiny, but I called her Swish for most of her life...this came about from incessant fish babble when looking at her bowl and talking to her...c'mon I know I'm not the only one who talks to their pet fish! Our meeting happened at a college picnic in the hot August weather of Tulsa, OK. An entire kiddie pool was filled with goldfish from Wal-Mart and my friend and I were put in charge of helping students fish for their own little pet. By the end of the day there were still at least 100 fish left over. We were going to have to dump them in the pond where the turtles and ducks also lived. Feeling much compassion and the need for something to take care of I began to pick out fish for myself. There was one that I particulary had my eye on, and trying as hard as I could I never could catch that one in the net. But then there was another fish...the one I didn't really want...the one that got caugh in my net every single time I went for the other. She (Destiny) ended up being one of the five I took home.
I put the five refugees in a small fish bowl and they all sucked air from the surface the entire night. The next day I learned that only one fish could and should be expected to fit in the bowl I had purchased. I had to find them new homes and I did...except for two...Faith and Destiny. Within about a week I came into my dorm room to find that Faith had died by swallowing a rock that was much to big for her...at least I think that had been the problem. That left Destiny.
And true to her namesake she stayed with me...back and forth, in the backseat of my car, from OK to NY at least two or three times during college breaks, through a long summer night in the college dorm tornado shelter, moving off campus to an apartment, staying with friends (who had a track record for killing fish) when I had to leave town, when we moved to Florida almost two years ago now. Even mom and dad loved her and took care of her more than I did when I moved back home.
Swish was my companion, my little reminder that sometimes we are blessed with things we didn't think we wanted. I will miss her welcome every morning. I will miss her excitement to talk with anyone who came near to her little fish tank. I will miss knowing she is there.
I've known for a couple of days that this was coming. She's been struggling to swim, laying at the bottom, hardly able to eat. I've been praying for her, singing to her (she loves singing), telling her how much I love her. She has had some health issues in the past, and usually when I pray she gets better. Her spots disappear, her energy increases. But this time was different. She was just about to turn 5 years old.
Her original name was Destiny, but I called her Swish for most of her life...this came about from incessant fish babble when looking at her bowl and talking to her...c'mon I know I'm not the only one who talks to their pet fish! Our meeting happened at a college picnic in the hot August weather of Tulsa, OK. An entire kiddie pool was filled with goldfish from Wal-Mart and my friend and I were put in charge of helping students fish for their own little pet. By the end of the day there were still at least 100 fish left over. We were going to have to dump them in the pond where the turtles and ducks also lived. Feeling much compassion and the need for something to take care of I began to pick out fish for myself. There was one that I particulary had my eye on, and trying as hard as I could I never could catch that one in the net. But then there was another fish...the one I didn't really want...the one that got caugh in my net every single time I went for the other. She (Destiny) ended up being one of the five I took home.
I put the five refugees in a small fish bowl and they all sucked air from the surface the entire night. The next day I learned that only one fish could and should be expected to fit in the bowl I had purchased. I had to find them new homes and I did...except for two...Faith and Destiny. Within about a week I came into my dorm room to find that Faith had died by swallowing a rock that was much to big for her...at least I think that had been the problem. That left Destiny.
And true to her namesake she stayed with me...back and forth, in the backseat of my car, from OK to NY at least two or three times during college breaks, through a long summer night in the college dorm tornado shelter, moving off campus to an apartment, staying with friends (who had a track record for killing fish) when I had to leave town, when we moved to Florida almost two years ago now. Even mom and dad loved her and took care of her more than I did when I moved back home.
Swish was my companion, my little reminder that sometimes we are blessed with things we didn't think we wanted. I will miss her welcome every morning. I will miss her excitement to talk with anyone who came near to her little fish tank. I will miss knowing she is there.
Thursday, March 8
Random DC Trip
I spent the weekend in DC with Jilli this past weekend. :) We did the tourist thing...which I haven't done for about 10 or 11 years.
Night tour of the memorials.
George Washington's garden.
Lincoln Memorial.
Jilli and me at the Capitol.
Mt. Vernon...it was a beautiful day but so cold...below freezing with the wind chill.
The Capitol Building.
Night tour of the memorials.
George Washington's garden.
Lincoln Memorial.
Jilli and me at the Capitol.
Mt. Vernon...it was a beautiful day but so cold...below freezing with the wind chill.
The Capitol Building.This Is The Place
So, the house stuff is coming along...here are some furnished pics of the place...it won't be quite as trendy when I first move in...but you'll get the picture. 1900 square feet and my own personal screened in porch upstairs!!! Closing is in 2 weeks. I am praying for favor and finances, if anyone feels so inclined to pray along. :)
Backyard view
Living room and entryway
Back porch with new glass windows
Part of the kitchen with shutter that open to the dining room
Master bedroom...see the porch?? :)
Look at living room from upstairs...notice the long curtains cover sliding glass doors that lead to the porch.
Front view.
Backyard view
Living room and entryway
Back porch with new glass windows
Part of the kitchen with shutter that open to the dining room
Master bedroom...see the porch?? :)
Look at living room from upstairs...notice the long curtains cover sliding glass doors that lead to the porch.
Front view.
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