Driving home from work today, I was exhausted. I thought about how much I was looking forward to the weekend. I thought about how I would sleep in and get caught up on some much needed rest, cleaning, and shopping. I pulled into the parking lot and stopped to grab my mail near the front entrance gate. I grabbed the mail, walked back out to the car, and then, one of those moments that you expect to happen but never know is really coming, came. A Honda Civic pulled into the parking lot in front of me. Not uncommon, but when I looked at his face it was one that I had never wanted to see again. My weekend would not be what I had hoped.

What the hell? I had a few choice words as I prayed under my breath.

No, it wasn't Shawn. It was a guy I had shut the door on 5 years ago. He "heard" from the Lord that we were supposed to get married. I did NOT hear the same thing and told him so. I have told him so...over and over and over again. Recently (for the past year) I have ignored him. And yet, he still sends flowers, letters, long letters. Nothing seems to deter him. Flattering? No. Disturbing, yes.

My heart has gone from one extreme to the next. It's like a test of my temperment. With Shawn I was vulnerable, sweet, interested. With this guy, I am disinterested, hard hearted, ungrateful.

My God, my heart must lie in the midst of this somewhere.