Recess and Science Experiments

Tonight I'm thinking back on a recent conversation with a friend. It went something like this:

Friend - "So, what are your plans in the near future?"
Me - "Well, finish this year of teaching...then who knows."
Friend - "What else do you want to do?"
Me - "I don't know, I just feel like there's more."

I've been saying that a lot lately. Mostly to God, mostly to myself. But I struggle because I feel like if I leave teaching behind, I am somehow leaving my calling and ultimately disappointing God. At the same time, if I neglect this dissatifcation, I am afraid that I will be missing out on some unknown fulfillment, some unknown blessing that might only come through a leap of faith.

I love my kiddos...I love having a part in shaping their lives. I do not love conforming to the government's rules and regulations as to how they should be taught and tested in the classroom. I do not the love the stress of trying to juggle a circus of paperwork and meetings and discipline procedures. I look at my classroom and I am heartbroken, because there is no time scheduled for recess anymore; there is no time for science experiments; there is barely an emphasis on art and music. The beauty of life and living and education is being set outside the classroom door. And I fall victim to it, because of my inexperience and insecurity as a young teacher. I do not know how to meet the academic expectations and to show my students the value of what they are learning at the same time. Test, after test, after test and for what? To show information that has been handed down through a system, through a bunch of men and women who sit in a boardroom somewhere and pass on their new and improved ideas. Some of them are good. Some of them, I'm not so sure. These children need to breath some fresh air. I need to breath some fresh air.