Turn It Around

I received a prophetic word about eight years ago about my husband. In it, the Lord asked me not to marry outside of His will for my life. He said that I would be an answer to some guys cry. He said that before that I should not let my heart go, because I would go through a season where I walked with the throne of God, a season where He would bless my life. Well, I've had a few opportunities to let my heart go since that time. Sad to say, maybe too much on some points. But God has brought me through. And so I'm wondering, were these boys along the way, the test that came with the word? I went through tests and trials that is for sure. But the season...the one where I was not even to contemplate a relationship...did I miss that season being distracted by these relationships...or is it yet to come? (I might write a book about all of it...just because it has a lot to do with my testimony.) I walk into this year...with more freedom, with a confidence that I have left the past behind. I walk into this year with an expectation for God to move. I walk into this year with a desire to move forward, to press further in, to know the fullness of God in every area of my life. I have been "fickle"...tossed back and forth in my feelings and desires. And all I really want is the Lord. All I really want is to know Him, to walk in the purposes that He has for my life. If that includes being married, so be it. If that includes ministry, so be it. It is time for walking close with Christ. I don't know what it looks like exactly...I don't know where I will go. But I do know it will be worth the change in focus...laying down the desire for my husband, laying down my own plans and preconceived notions...allowing God to pave the road ahead and show me the way.

What can I do with my obsession
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being?
Is it wind that blows the trees
Sometimes you're further than the moon
Sometimes you're closer than my skin
And you surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

And my heart burns for you
And my heart burns for you

And I'm so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I'm stubborn God
And I'm longing to be close
You burn me deeper than I know
And I feel lonely without hope
I feel desperate without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird

And my heart burns for you

And my heart burns for you