Land of the Living

This week I get to see a very good friend of mine. She is here in Jax for a conference. We haven't seen each other for about 5 years and haven't talked in about one year. So we laughed and talked until about 2am this morning. This will go on until Friday when she leaves.

When I moved my junior year of high school it was in the middle of the school year. I was heartbroken about the move and did not make a single solitary friend at this high school...except for Kim. She was a gift from God...she had only moved there about 2 weeks before me. We sat next to each other in homeroom. Our days were spent shopping, driving around in her family's big blue van, listening to music, talking about boys, talking about God, laughing a lot. Even after I left the high school and the city 6 months later, we remained close and kept in touch. Who knew that 11 years later, after college and careers and moving to different states, that we would still be close friends...hanging out in sunny (cold at the moment) Florida? Who knew what an encouragement we would be to each other's lives?

I didn't know why I had to move...all those years ago. It was such a lonely time. But if I had not gone, had I not entered that classroom full of strange faces, I would not know Kim. I would not have the joy of our friendship. She was probably one of the first people to inspire me to write musically and to sing. She remains to be one who inspires me to keep walking closer to God.

Recently, I was in my driveway at nightime and noticed how the light illmunitated a large rectangular area near the road. I'm not sure why I was so compelled but I felt I had to stand in the middle of that area....or maybe it was a circle..I can't remember. When I stepped into the light I heard God say, "I will lead you to places you do not want to go, but in the end it will be a blessing." Well, needless to say I didn't know how to feel about this word. It was both encouraging and intimidating. But as I looked back upon my life, I realized the pattern that I had gone through. I saw a lifetime of going to places I did not necessarily want to go...and I saw the blessing that came from those places.

I saw moving around as a child...it led to friends and connections that even now I keep in touch with. I saw my unexpected college roomate Zoe, who set up her side of the room before I even knew we'd been assigned to the same room...we make a point of seeing each other once a year...she has inspired me to create and dream and be more real than I was before. I see this school I am working at now, such a challenge...but I am learning how to persevere, how to minister, how to humbly serve those I don't really want to serve in the first place. I saw relationships, I saw places, I saw jobs....I saw the hard times and through it all...I saw how God's hand was leading me, protecting me, molding and shaping me to be who I am today.

My darkest moments were telling me of better days to come. I did not know it then. But the promises were there. God help me to remember your promises for every day after this. Help me to remember that you are good and that you are leading me to a good land...a promised land. Help me not to be afraid of the giants I see standing in the way. By Your hand and Your word...I will overcome.

Psalm 27:13-14

What, what would have become of me had I not believed

that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord;

be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring.

Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.