Saturday, May 17

All of a Sudden

This school year seemed so long. In fact, the last few years have seemed long. And all of a sudden, it is time to quietly pack up my things and begin again. It hit me today. I have three weeks left. Three weeks to make a difference in the lives of my students. Three weeks to spread life and hope to an inner city community.

I read them stories of Narnia. I talked to them about forgiveness. I hugged them. I told them I loved them. I prayed for them and alongside them. I gave out second chances. I held them accountable. I argued with them and pushed them. I waited for them...did my best not to leave them behind. I failed them. I supposed I inspired some. I disappointed them...made some angry. I grew up with them. I learned from them. I listened. I stood up for them. I gave them my time, my money, my resources. I got up early. I stayed late. I did all I thought I could do and then some. But was it enough?

Oh, God, has it been enough? Is it a work that will last? Is it a work that will continue for years down the road? I will carry them with me...their faces, their words, their laughter, their tears, their stories. I have not walked in their shoes. But I have tied up their laces. I have reminded them to keep the shoes on their feet. And from what I have seen, in so many ways, their young shoes are more worn than my own. I feel the weight of it tonight. I was called to walk with them for 3 years. And I don't want to leave them. I want to hug them and encourage them and push them to be better than they hoped to ever be. I want to see them step out of the despondency, hatred, and offense of their experiences. I want to see them embrace a life of wonder and learning...to take on problem solving as their own. I want to see them own the world...not become victims to it.

They have taught me how to fight...how to stand up again. They have taught me to push for something better. They have taught me that love is the most resilient of qualities. They have taught me how to sing a better song. They have taught me about beauty and joy and the power of prayer. They have taught me about saying I'm sorry. They have taught me how to give better...how to be more thankful. The list goes on and on.

Really and truly, God knew exactly where to put me in order to bring me to this place. I don't know if I will continue to teach. I don't really know. But I do know that I would not be who I am without having walked through the doors of this elementary school 3 years ago. With three weeks left to go....I am challenged to make the most of it.

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