Thoughts on a Friday

Last week was easy. This week a challenge.
Last week I came home lighthearted and with a smile.
This week I have grumbled and cried and looked for excuses.

I'd like to be appreciated, like it if I was regarded as an outstanding teacher. As someone who goes above and beyond, who cares deeply about their job. Would I believe it though? If I walked into the classroom and saw me?

I need to stop being afraid. I am on edge when I hear footsteps in the hallway, when I hear the voice of my principal walking my way, when my children misbehave. I don't want to be looked at for not doing my job. And now, teachers will begin to get paid for their performance. Isn't that nice...based on numbers and opinions we will be paid accordingly. Truthfully, if I was confident about this job, I wouldn't worry. If I was confident, it would be no big deal. But I'm not. I'm afraid of appearing as if I am still a struggling teacher.

Time to go clean up. More later.