Silence is the sound of the evening. I walked into my apartment after a night of work and all I could hear were my footsteps inside the door. I love this sound. It means that I can rest. I leave for NY the day after tomorrow. My sister is graduating from high school. Amazing how time flies. I am wishing that I did not have to go alone. I am wishing that I had someone along for the ride. Ah, well, like I said, silence can be a wonderful thing. I'll have time to think about him, and about leaving, and about where God is taking me in this new season. I'll have time to pray, and to sing, and to cry. I look forward to the possibilities of running into new people. I look forward to seeing the familiar places that settle my heart after long absences away. I'll probably go visit my grandfather's grave; probably go visit the old farmhouse where I grew up. Then, perhaps I'll think about going to see his parents, but I won't, because I am sure that staying away is better. I promised him I would do so. But I'll think about it, nonetheless. I also thought about checking to see if there were openings in the small school where I grew up. I have always prayed for that community and have wondered if I would end up back there. Do I really want that yet? I don't know. Like I said, I'll be praying along the way.

I also went out with Paul after work tonight. We have reached a one year milestone in our friendship. It wasn't until tonight that I realized how comfortable I am with him. I feel guilty a lot of the time for not giving in to the desire that I see on his face. He takes me out, calls me on the phone, genuinely cares about the happenings in my life. I feel as if I have done nothing to bless him in return. All I have is me; all I have is my friendship. I can't make my heart feel more. So, I always pray for God to richly bless his life, for blessing mine so abundantly.

Tonight, I'll end with Psalm 143:3-8

For the enemy has persecuted my soul;
He has crushed my life to the ground;
He has made me dwell in darkness, like those who have long been dead.
Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me;
My heart within me is distressed.
I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all Your works;
I muse on the work of Your hands.
I spread out my hands to You;
My soul longs for You like a thirsty land. Selah
Answer me speedily, O Lord;
My spirit fails!
Do not hide your face from me,
Lest I be like those who go down into the pit.
Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning,
For in You do I trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk,
For I lift up my soul to You.